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Bond18 Just another PokerSavvy weblog

30Dec/080

The makings of a perfect horse-student

I frequently get PM's asking for coaching and staking. These days I do basically zero staking (though I do buy percentages of people now and then) and minimum coaching, almost never in the traditional sense (mostly people come over and watch me play and ask questions.) However, my friend StevoL and I are always on the look out for the next perfect horse-student. This is a person we'd both consider investing time in training and staking in order to groom them into the perfect horse (though obviously they could eventually go alone.) Stevo recently had one of his horse-students hit a six figure score for him by winning the $15,000 buy in Sydney high rollers event during the APPT grand final. Jarred Graham, aka 'FlopNutsOnYou' online, has been working under Stevo for about a year, though it's important to note that a huge amount of Jarred's success is a result of the enormous hours and hard work he put into his game. It's also relevant to note that I don't think Jarred hitting one large score in Sydney proves his success; he has been putting up big scores for some time now online and consistently crushing for some time.

So what exactly are Stevo and I looking for when we consider someone for that kind of thing? I thought it might be interesting to make a list and talk about what qualifies or disqualifies a person from consideration:

1. A potential student must have absolutely zero gamble in them. Anyone who spends any time whatsoever in the pit, sports betting, or doing anything else that's –EV gambling is pretty much instantly disqualified. Same goes for anyone who used to gamble frequently but has since settled down. I've learned the hard way that once a person gets the gamble in them, it pretty much never leaves. If someone plays their favorite pit game a couple times a year with a small amount of money as simple recreation (as I and several other poker players do) that's not a big deal, but anything beyond that and they are no longer in the running.

2. A potential student must not be an emotional person. In poker you're constantly dealing with disappointment and frustration, and anyone who reacts strongly and negatively to that is again pretty much instantly disqualified. Surviving in poker over the long term in a stable way requires a very even temperament and while there are plenty of successful players who are emotional I honestly believe they are worse players (and often people) because of it. It's totally normal to swear, feel disappointment, or be annoyed over running bad or taking an especially brutal beat. However, anyone who flips out, breaks things, lets fury heavily affect their play, or takes their anger out on others is out of the running. Additionally, I flat out hate dealing with emotional people's bullshit. Grow the fuck up.

3. A potential student must not use drugs outside of marijuana. I don't really care if someone has tried this drug and that drug, but anyone who regularly uses recreational drugs outside of marijuana is normally disqualified. I'm aware that plenty of people are capable of only using drugs on occasion and in moderate doses, but any use of a potentially addictive substance is additional liability to a backer who has their money in the trust of the horse. Additionally, anyone indulging in more than occasional drug use is likely out partying a lot, which means less time they will spend grinding. Although I'd tell most people asking me for advice to have a balanced and very social lifestyle, I'd obviously prefer that a horse spends as much time grinding as possible. A huge percentage of professional poker players regularly use marijuana, many in very high doses. I would likely give less consideration to a person who was a full blown pot head as it tends to make people lazy and unmotivated, but I wouldn't disqualify them because many very good players function under the substance near constantly and find it easier to put in volume as a result.

4. A potential student must have a real desire and motivation to learn. There are lots of people who think they want to learn the game quite badly but once they realize the amount of work required get lazy or apathetic. Others think that if they are taken other the wing of a highly successful player then things will sort of fall into place for them and not too much work will be necessary. The fact is, even someone given the undivided attention of a highly successful pro will still have to put in massive hours of both play and study by themselves. This quality was highly evident in Jarred and one of the chief reasons for his quick evolution as a player. Whenever someone I know asks for a blue print of how to get better I essentially assign them a large amount of homework and demand they give me feedback and questions after reading it. Anyone who can't be fucked isn't worth my time.

5. It is preferable that a potential student didn't learn poker by playing live. This isn't my having some vendetta against live players or trying to get into an argument about superiority. The simple fact is that learning through live poker creates and reinforces many bad habits in a poker player. Stevo and I have discussed this at length and both agree that we'd both rather work with someone who was 100% raw and inexperienced than trying to deprogram a live player and teach them the game all over again (with a few already successful exceptions.) I know how hard this is because I am a prime example of having done it. I grew up playing live home games and eventually grinding at Crown casino, as well as learning from the books live players. When I was finally taught the game correctly it was evident that my years of learning and practicing incorrectly were making it more difficult for the proper concepts to sink into my game. The ideal student has been playing online for some time and already studies the game from established resources (training sites, forums, articles, etc) but simply hasn't broken through yet.

6. A potential student should ask many questions, but not question us. This goes back to having a desire to learn, which is certainly a quality in a potential student. However, having a student who won't take orders or do what's necessary of him is a liability neither of us is willing to deal with. Of course as teachers we're going to be wrong from time to time and it's certainly acceptable that a student would point out flaws or suggest a better alternative. That said if he's overruled and told he's wrong or needs to do something how we say it should be done it needs to get done that way.

7. A potential student should enjoy grinding, or at least not mind it. Many poker players actually hate putting in volume (one of the reasons many spend their playing time high.) If a player is at the early stages of career and development and already hates putting in the hours it's not a good sign for his future. Although I know many successful players who absolutely hate playing, were I to spend time teaching someone it would obviously be preferable that they enjoy the time they spend grinding.

8. It is preferable though not necessary that a potential student is good at math. There are plenty of poker players who aren't particularly good at math (myself included) but at a minimum a student needs to be willing to make the effort to understand the basics of pot odds, equity, ranges, and things of that matter. Naturally, it's even better if the potential student is highly capable at math, because at the end of the day the whole game is really a massive math problem and people experienced in the area will have a better idea understanding the idea of 'long term'.

9. It is preferable that the potential student is young and single. For the most part as people get older they have a higher degree of responsibility, often to an already established career or a family. Anyone with a serious girlfriend or wife immediately has a major drain on his time and in many cases the woman in his life will want something more stable than a poker playing boyfriend/husband. The ideal age for a student is 18, particularly in Australia as far fewer Australians enter college allowing for maximum time commitment to learning the game.

10. It is highly preferable that a potential student is male. It's rather obvious that I have considerable experience teaching a girl to play and in no way regret that experience. That said, women are already predisposed to being much more emotional than men and almost every known female poker player has been known to outbursts (there are exceptions, but not many.) Additionally, the poker world is a harsh place for a woman to try and make a living. If she gains any fame or notoriety her looks and personal life will be under constant scrutiny and potential ridicule. And if she happens to achieve a major success the line of haters will be a mile long (Hi Annette!) Additionally, many female players (attractive ones anyway) realize that they don't really have to be very good in order to get attention and sponsorship money and as a result lose the drive to constantly improve their game. It is extremely unlikely I'd ever consider taking on another female student.

11. It is mandatory that either I or Stevo know the potential student in real life. This is necessary in order to observe the behavior of the person in regards to the rest of the list not to mention being able to ascertain whether our personalities match up in a way that's conductive to a proper learning environment.

Lastly, I want to say that we do not want anyone sending us any form of application or request. Anyone I'd consider for this kind of thing is likely someone I would approach about it personally. Even if someone fit this list completely it's extremely unlikely that we'd consider them as we are highly selective with this sort of thing (a result of failing to be so in the past.) If you send me some kind of information or student request I will likely give it a very brief glance then reply that I'm not interested.

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28Dec/081

A Bond18 Christmas

I wake up at around 1pm on Christmas "morning". It looks about 30 degrees Celsius outside and I go for a run in the heat. When I get back I call Alex and ask him for directions to his house for the BBQ. I assure him I'll bring the Afghan white rhino blend my friend has hooked me up with for coaching him at poker.

I arrive at the house and we start cranking down beers while watching the end of a bowl game that Hawaii got crushed in. There are only three of us for the moment and we roll up the Afghan in a fat paper then head outside to begin the holiday festivities. I estimate that it is 2:30. The Afghan is incredibly powerful and the three of us are coughing like beginners. I scramble inside in search of water but am elated when I instead find beer.

As the afternoon continues more and more guys show up which results in more and more blunts being rolled (naturally.) At some point we make lunch but the grill isn't working and there are no buns for the hamburgers. Instead, we eat them with a knife and fork on a plate. I continue to drink a variety of beers.

At around 6pm I find my way to the sofa. Despite being in a room with blaring Kanye West, a large TV on, and several people talking loudly I fall asleep peacefully on the couch and remain totally undisturbed.

When I wake up it is pitch black outside and everyone is sitting around the table about to eat. At some point during my slumber Alex has logged onto my facebook and written "Tony is stroking his moist vagina" (though I will not be aware of it for another 24 hours.)

After dinner we're all standing around outside and local poker player slash self aware worlds most degenerate bankroll management extraordinaire Kaz suggests we should order strippers. One of Alex's friends leaps on the idea and a phone book is brought out. The friend dials the number and requests two attractive girls
"No! No! Nooooooo! Dude don't" Alex begs.
"Yea make sure they're attractive."
"No dude, stop this. I don't want them here."
I'm against the wall laughing "Man this is so degenerate" I say.
"No dude, I don't want them here. No!"
"How much will it be for 90 minutes? $1200?"
"Yea that's fine" says Kaz.
"Okay sure send them to..."
"NO! Aw man no I don't want fuckin strippers over here!"
"It'll be fine" Kaz reassures him.
"Okay send them to XX XXXXXX st."
He hangs up the phone with a smirk. Alex continues to protest. I tell Kaz he's my "favorite degen ever." Kaz appears to be quite drunk and is slurring heavily.

At some point Alex manages to call them back and cancel the strippers. Kaz tries to convince people we should just go out to a strip club instead. I decline and go home and fall asleep very early.

The next day is Friday which I now always take off out of principal. I drive into the city and take advantage of the Boxing Day sales at Zegna. I find a sweet ass gray pinstripe suit and buy myself a Christmas present. When I go home that night I call the girl I'm seeing to ask her what she's doing. She says we should hang out and maybe go out. She comes by at 1am and we head out into the city to meet some friends. We wind up at 'Loft', the first white people club I've been to in about two weeks. Everyone starts smashing down shots and vodka red bull. I get to see a girl punch another girl in the face on the dance floor (fucking awesome!) I later ask the girl who got jabbed "Why'd that other chick punch you in the face?" and she just shrugs at me. Not every day you see girls throwing right hooks.

Everyone starts really draining down the drinks but because I mostly stick to beer I'm considerably more in control. On the dance floor my date encounters the classic 'club douche' who comes on to her, gets rejected, then stands there for another 10 minutes trying any other attempt at game he can think of while literally getting a middle finger in the face. Eventually I tell her "Let me do you a favor" then throw my arms around her and we start making out while standing right next to him. Eat it stereotypical club douche.

By 4am the whole party I'm with is extremely hammered. I'd started on waters about an hour ago and feel okay. At 4:30 I tell them I'm going and I stand out and wait for a cab. My date chats with the driver the whole ride home, often asking him the same question multiple times. She sways back and forth and I'm worried she'll vomit. I have the cabby stop a block short so in the event of vomiting I can direct it away from myself. Luckily, the fresh air seems to improve her composure. When we get inside I try to keep her up and force her to drink water. I get to bed around 6am.

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24Dec/081

An early Christmas present

I had the appointment with my immigration lawyer yesterday. I laid out the whole situation for him and asked how it would be possible for me to stay in Australia legally. As it turns out, it won't be very hard at all. First of all, the two year visa I was given under Celina's sponsorship still applies despite the fact that we've broken up. That means I have roughly another year of absolutely zero visa concerns. After that the lawyer said he will help me find a low intensity language course that will allow me to stay in the country on a student visa but not take too much time away from poker.

After the appointment I met Stevo at 'Number 8' in Crown for lunch. That restaurant never fails to be delicious and the host knows me well enough at this point that we often chat for some time about our preferences in high end men's wear. After lunch Stevo and I made our way over to St. Kilda road to check out more apartment possibilities. We fell in love with the third apartment we viewed and will be lodging an application to rent it. It can be seen here:
http://www.realestate.com.au/cgi-bin/rsearch?a=o&id=105349054&f=0&p=10&t=res&ty=&fmt=&header=&cc=&c=79116794&s=vic&snf=rbs&tm=1230095990

The building is across the street from the Botanical Gardens, a roughly two minute walk to Albert Park, a 5 minute walk to Fawkner Park, a 10 minute walk to Crown, and a roughly 7 minute walk to the city. I've already claimed the bedroom with the direct view into the city, something I've always wanted. However, we have to have Steve's dad lodge the application because not too many real estate companies are going to rent an apartment like that too two 24 year old professional poker players. I normally wear a suit when going out to look at apartments which prevents unwanted questions, though it occasionally encourages some less expected ones such as two the agent gave me this time; "Do you have a business card?" and "Have you got any children?" I'm disappointed in myself for not being on the ball enough to quickly quip back "Not any I'm aware of" but you live and learn.

I've had a pretty lazy week work wise (though I am sitting here grinding on Christmas Eve) and will continue to do so. My Christmas plans involve going to my friend Alex's BBQ and getting incredibly hammered while taking photos of myself pointing and laughing under the sun to put on my facebook and show friends back home in Wisconsin. I won't be working Friday or Saturday either (because I just don't anymore) and will likely use the time during the day to go outside and play sport then spend some serious time in a café working on my book. I've decided to approach it without the slightest alteration in my style or vocabulary (it'll have swearing!) though I will have it professionally edited because I still make some God awful grammatical mistakes.

The time I spend between now and New Years should end up making for some interesting stories, though very little of it will be poker related. So if you're opposed to reading a blog entry about my getting drunk, best to avoid this until January.

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21Dec/081

Transition

It's a bit of a strange period in my life right now. It's come to my attention that because my relationship with Celina has been dissolved my legal ability to stay in the country of Australia is now very much up in the air. I'll be calling my immigration lawyer tomorrow to set up a meeting and discuss what my options are (if any) when it comes to staying in the country. Otherwise I'll have to figure out a new place to live, and at the moment I have no idea where that'd be.

I've been talking with my friend StevoL about getting a place together and we checked out an apartment right across from Albert Park a couple days ago. Here's the link for those who are curious: http://www.realestate.com.au/cgi-bin/rsearch?a=o&id=403404735&f=90&p=30&t=ren&ty=&fmt=&header=&cc=&c=30244994&s=vic&snf=rbs&tm=1229569787
It's got pretty much everything we're looking for although I wish the view of the city were a little better, as the picture provided is at an angle you really have to stretch to reach on the balcony. Also, the bathroom in the master bedroom is encased in see through glass, meaning if you had someone over and needed to use the bathroom you'd have to kick them out of the whole room for privacy, which would make for an awkward conversation
"Listen baby, I know you're exhausted from the 92 orgasms I just gave you, but I need you to slide your sweet ass out of bed and wait outside for a while cause I need to take a monster crap and you're not gonna wanna be here for this." Yea, that'll go well.

Meanwhile, things have been going spectacularly in poker. My first few days back I blanked out but after that I've hit a massive streak of positive variance. In my last five days of play I've hit scores of $5600 for 1st, $5600 for 2nd, $18,000 for 6th, $5300 for 1st, and $8000 for a tie for first in an Aussie Millions satellite. I've been extremely productive in creating Pokersavvy videos and managed to get back to a lot of old PM's sitting in my mail boxes. I've recently gotten an avalanche of new ones, many of which I plan to respond to tomorrow since I'll be working most of the day. I've said this before and I'll say it again, anyone who reads this is free to PM me with whatever questions they have, as long as they don't mind the possibility of my going AWOL on the response for up to a couple weeks (though because I'm at my computer much more lately my response time is normally within a couple days.)

Every now and then someone will PM me and ask why I write the strategy articles I do, or why I'm willing to answer people's questions without any real monetary motivation or compensation, or continue to post thoughts on 2+2. While standing in line at 'Subway' today I read a quote attributed to George Bernard Shaw that summed up my thoughts on the topic rather well
"If I have an apple and you have an apple and we exchange apples we each have just one apple, but if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange ideas we each have two ideas."
To me, the knowledge I have isn't something I own. It's not for my personal keeping and profit. I'll never learn anything keeping all my thoughts to myself, because without those with differing experiences and knowledge giving feedback, thoughts, and edits, I'll never be able to improve. I'm not quite smart enough to figure all these things out on my own, and pretty much every ounce of poker knowledge in my head was the original thought of someone else. As a result, I've been thinking about how to approach the poker book I plan on turning my articles into. It's occurred to me lately that finding a publisher for a poker strategy book full of vulgarity and absurdist humor will likely be no easy task. As a result, I've decided that if after finishing it and submitting it to various outlets they aren't interested, I'll simply turn it into an Ebook and release it for free. Then when people read it and point out where I've fucked up, I'll really learn something.

Oh, and for those of you who tell me to stop writing this stuff and educating the masses I have only this to say; Quit bitching you lazy bastards. Odds are you're smarter than me and can probably figure out a way to counteract what I'm imparting if you just apply a little effort. Poker is constantly evolving and so too should your own game. As if you didn't get your poker education from external sources anyway.

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17Dec/082

Trip report: Accidentally got transvestites phone number

I was sitting outside at a neighborhood café today looking to get a 1pm breakfast of pancakes and coffee. I'd taken the day off as I had some things to take care of during the afternoon. The café is on a fairly busy street with considerable foot traffic in a neighborhood that's a pretty eclectic mix of people.

As I was sipping my coffee two "girls" walked past me, one on the phone. The one on the phone was staring right at me and smiling then pointed at me to "her" friend. I smiled back and as "she" walked by "she" said "Heeey!" Neither was particularly attractive but I smiled and said "Hi" back because whatever. The "girls" walked past and down the street, out of view for a period.

A couple minutes later the "girl" that wasn't on the phone came walking back towards the café with a slip in paper. "She" walked right up to me with a smile and said "This is for you" and handed me the piece of paper with a number on it. This person handing me the number was clearly a dude. The name on the slip of paper was "Leilani". It was written in blue ink and the dots above the 'I' were not written with a heart. Clearly a fucking dude.

Now I know how you all feel about pictures, but unfortunately in the moment I didn't have the focus to whip out my phone and tell the "girl" handing me the number to "Hold the fuck still while I take a picture." As a result, I have scoured the internet and found a similar looking transvestite to help with the imagery of this story.

Transvestite

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14Dec/080

An abridged history of Bond18: Part 1

A few people have asked for summation of how I got to where I am in poker via forums or in PM's, so I'll try and write everything relevant to my evolution as a player and the events that brought me there and now, here.

I suppose everything started back in high school. During that period I went through five jobs that paid the standard shit wage they give teenagers for unskilled labor. My first job ever was as a 'peanut guy' during Badger games, which in retrospect was not so bad a job since there was no direct boss, I got to watch football, and the money was pretty good for the hours put in. At the time I was a very small guy so carrying around the bag sucked but other than that it was a good time. After that I got my first proper job as a 'Sandwich Artist' at Subway for about three months, which was boring but tolerable with terrible pay. After that I got a job as a dishwasher at 'Morels' restaurant which was very dirty work for little pay but the bosses always treated me with respect and my coworkers were fun so it's the job I have the fondest memories of.

The following summer I got a job as a shoe salesman at 'Finish Line' which was, without a doubt, the worst job I've ever had. Although the work itself was likely the easiest and cleanest of any of my jobs, most of the bosses were colossal dick heads and the whole sales industry made me sick. I was taught to try and figure which accessories to try and sell customers based on race, age, and gender and was under constant pressure to keep my sales numbers up despite not receiving commission. Any form of small talk or fraternization with my coworkers was discouraged and occasionally punished and my head boss Dan had some of the most absurdly retarded working policies on the planet. For example, we had large columns throughout the store and while waiting for a customer to make their decision I would occasionally lean on to take the pressure off my feet. When Dan would see me doing this he would come over and nag "George I don't wanna see you leaning! Leaning is for the lazy, there's always something you can be doing." I eventually quit that job after a few months and credit it to this day for jading me about the legitimate working world.

My last job after that was a brief stint as a host at 'Damons' restaurant during my senior year where I was a terrible and apathetic employee who eventually got the firing he deserved. Around this time I started taking a considerable interest in the gambling world and started reading about blackjack card counting and decided to start my own enterprise as the school bookie. A lot of guys in the school liked betting $5-$20 on the various college or professional football and basketball games during the course of the year, and I became their outlet for whatever they needed. I had a paper full of the lines which I would hand out to guys in my classes during school, which eventually got me called into the principal's office where I claimed I was just having a few friendly bets with friends. They gave me a lecture and told me not to disturb class and I was sent on my way. The bookie thing never made me much money but it was enough to keep me from being totally broke through high school. During this period I was obsessed with bodybuilding and had a bit of a mean streak for anyone who crossed me so nobody really screwed around about not paying except one guy who suddenly vanished from school one day.

Near the end of 2002 I thought perhaps playing poker with friends might be a better alternative to the sports betting and we had our first game. I got absolutely killed during our first session, playing 5 draw at the time as Texas Hold'em was not yet famous. After that I went over to the local bookstore and looked for books on poker. Over the next couple of years I wound up purchasing and reading over 40 poker books, which at the time naturally turned me into a huge nit (thanks TJ Cloutier.)

For the rest of my senior year I went and played home games with friends a couple times a week for what was normally a $10 buy in and made a relative killing for me at the time (probably about $30 a night.) After a while I got a reputation as the best player in the school and games would come to me as guys wanted to take shots at me. It was a ton of fun and although I wasn't really making any serious money (and was terrible at poker) I still look back at that phase of my poker playing with much fondness. When Chris Moneymaker came on TV in early 2003 with his WSOP win all of a sudden everyone wanted to play and I knew I wasn't going to have to go back to work for a while. I made my first deposit online in February 2003 on Paradise poker, which was the largest site that had up to 4000 users online at a time. I deposited $75 which I turned into about $400 in $10 SNG's before my mom found out about my gambling online and flipped out. I told her I wouldn't play there anymore, which was true until I got to college.

In the fall of 2003 I entered college at University of Wisconsin Milwaukee and within a few weeks was back online playing SNG's, this time at Party Poker. Thanks to the WPT the game was blowing up and even when I didn't feel like playing online I could always find a home game.

For the next year or so I kept playing smallish stakes SNG's online and worked my bankroll up to perhaps $3000. I barely played any MTT's and rarely played cash, and during that period I think I made one final table in a $30 buy in tournament on Party Poker, which I considered the greatest accomplishment in poker history (I got 6th.) In late fall of 2004 I played a $39 winner take all SNG satellite that fed into the weekly $360 buy in satellite for a package to the Aussie Millions in Melbourne Australia. I won the SNG and played my first major satellite not long after. I ran like God in the satellite and remember sucking out KK with 99 for a huge pot and flopping a straight against a set on the final table which held to put me in position to win. Five packages worth $13,200 were awarded and I wound up getting one, by far the biggest win of my career. I remember running around my dorm floor yelling with elation then pumping myself full of alcohol, then realizing at 4am I needed to write a paper, despite being wasted. I wrote the paper and fell asleep then dragged myself up at 10am, walked into class, turned it in, then walked straight out. I got an 'A' on it.

My trip to Australia was my first time out of the country outside stopping by a resort in the Dominican Republic, which isn't exactly a culture shock. Neither is Australia really, but it was different and new enough at the time to amaze me (it still amazes me, but for different reasons.) Back in those days when I met poker pros I was stunned and almost speechless, addressing them with the utmost respect and awe. I remember Scotty Nguyen ordering me a triple tequila while watching his table then spending the rest of the trip hanging out with me and talking poker strategy. Previous to his 50k HORSE final table Scotty was one of my favorite people in poker as a result of that trip, and his alcoholism back in those days was of the much more hilarious and recreational variety.

The package entered me into two events, the $1600 AUD buy in (about $1200 US at the time) speed poker championship, and of course the Aussie Millions main event. I managed to run pretty good in the speed poker event and made the semi final stage where they broke the remaining 36 players into 6 tables of 6 which played as shootout to reach the final table. I got heads up against Swedish player Michael Thuritz. Going into heads up he had me about 70,000 to my 55,000 and was easily the better player. Despite those factors, he offered me a 15% even swap. I instantly agreed and our heads up was over in two hands when we both got it in with massive draws, his winning. I got $4000 AUD for my finish and Michael went on to win for $100,000, instantly handing over the $15,000 he owed me. What was most startling to me about the whole exchange is that when he won Michael didn't so much as blink, but when he came over to give me the money and I thanked him he had a big smile on his face. It was a gigantic score for me at the time.

I came home and started planning my return to Australia via my school's study abroad program. I also wrote my very first trip report, an absurdly long, terribly punctuated log that will forever show how awful I was at poker once upon a time, as well as how totally naïve I was about the world. It can be read here: http://www.parttimepoker.com/poker-features/articles/aussie-dunst.htm
I mostly played small stakes limit online during this period, doing some propping to try make the income more steady. I returned to Australia in July 2005 and went to live with a woman I'd met during my previous trip (a platonic friend) and went to school at a university that wound up being a two hours each way commute. I spent every evening at Crown Casino playing 10/20 and 20/40 limit where I ran incredibly good my first couple months and won around $15,000 AUD. This hot streak birthed my Crown Casino nickname of 'Lucky Tony D.'

About a month into my trip I asked friends over dinner whether any hot girls actually hung out in the poker room. They mentioned that there was a girl named Celina but that a lot of guys chased her. When I was eventually introduced to her in the poker room I had been out at a $1 beer night at a near by bar and was incredibly wasted. I still had the good sense to meet her briefly then immediately ignore her though, and a couple of meetings later after much flirting I asked her if she wanted to play pool with a mutual friend at a Crown bar. When we got there she asked what I wanted to bet on the game and I quickly replied "Dinner." I kicked her ass in the game and on our first date made her buy. A week later we were moving in together (mostly for logistical reasons, as we both needed to move out of the suburbs and I didn't have any processions.)

I attempted to juggle going to school with going to Crown every night. My studies eventually became neglected and I kept grinding the limit games. In the late part of the year I began a massive downswing from a combination of running bad and being a complete moron in regards to bankroll management (as well as playing NL games and tournaments, which I was terrible at.) I managed to piss a $15,000 roll down to about $1,000 and was feeling pretty desperate. I talked to my good friend Rob online and asked him if he'd be interested in staking me. We agreed to a $10,000 (USD) stake where I played low limit ring and short handed games online and if I lost the whole of the stake money I would pay him back $5,000. In exchange he got 33% of all profits (plus his original stake back of course.)

Around this time I asked Australia's best limit hold'em player how he'd gotten so good so fast and at such a young age (he was 19.) He told me to go read 2+2 forums so I logged on and started posting in the limit forums. At first I found the forums difficult to maneuver with their elaborate lingo and fairly elitist tone, but I quickly realized the information they were distilling was of such a higher quality than anything I'd found in books. I began reading and posting voraciously and was on my way to developing a better overall thought process about the game.

In January 2006 the Aussie Millions were on at Crown and I asked Rob if it was okay if I played a couple tournaments. He agreed to put me into the $1000 AUD buy in preliminary event and I wound up finishing fourth for about $19,000 after taking the most absurd string of bad beats in my life (still to this day.) After that I continued to grind online and read 2+2, trying to work out the kinks in my limit game. As the WSOP approached I told Rob I wanted to shoot for winning a main event seat. I started reading the tournament section of 2+2 and playing many more tournaments online. God I was so incredibly bad, if someone wanted to laugh their ass off they could go to the archives and search for all strategy posts made by me in 2006 and have a blast gawking at my stupidity.

Bodog poker ran a promotion where they had a WSOP weekend running an incredible amount of satellites with overlay, and on my fourth try I got a main event seat. Rob won his on the last one they ran and we were off to Vegas. I was planning on going for a few weeks then coming back to Melbourne afterwards.

A few days before my departure I got an email from the Australian immigration department that told me I was in violation of my visa and needed to come to their office to prevent any chance of deportation. I emailed back that I thought the mistake was on their end since I had been going to school the entire time (which was true.) They told me the mistake most certainly was not on their end and I needed to come in for a talk. I stopped in the day before I was set to leave and they informed that while I had indeed made an honest mistake violating my visa like this (I had been staying illegally for five months, I was supposed to renew it at semester but was simply not aware because I'm a moron) was going to result in a three year ban. So I went to tell Celina that we needed to pack up our entire apartment that night and that when we got to the United States we'd have to consult ways on getting the ban overruled or simply finding another method of getting me back into the country.

When we got to Vegas Rob and I decided to put me in some of the small preliminary events. I was still quite bad back then, but compared to the fields I was easily a +EV investment. I ran very bad in my first few events, but previous to the $2000 buy in event I asked Mark Vos for a 5% swap and he agreed. Vos wound up winning the event and having to hand me over $20,000, a major shot in the arm to the bankroll I was growing for Rob. That said, neither Rob nor I was very bankroll aware at the time, and we definitely spent too much on putting me in the preliminary events, which I blanked out totally.

In the WSOP main event I both ran well and played pretty well and wound up making it to late in day 4. I eventually got AK all in vs AQ pre flop for a considerable pot but the other player hit a Q and I was sent packing in 198th, good for $43,000 and change. Rob finished only a few places further down.

After that I moved back to Milwaukee and decided to do another semester at University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Celina had to go back to Australia within a few months when the US government told her they wouldn't grant her a long term visa so I was left in Milwaukee attending school for a major I cared very little about (theatre) and little reason to go out so I wound up spending nearly all my time playing poker and reading the forums. I became a very frequent poster in the MTT sections and was quickly learning what I was doing wrong with the help of the regular posters. I had a four day period where I chopped two tournaments for about $5000 a piece then on the last day won a tournament on Bodog for $6250 and my bankroll was suddenly surging. I'd made more money in a weekend than I did playing limit in what was likely my whole life. I'd found what I wanted to do with my life.
Coming in part 2: Adventures in the land of staking under Lord Timex, living in China, creative writing, a trip around the world, a taste of success, and the story of a man they call Adam Fucking Junglen.

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14Dec/081

Things it took me a while to learn part 22, Poker trends/plays

Over the course of the evolution of tournament poker certain plays have come in and out of style and popularity based on how well known they've become and their effectiveness. In an earlier article I discussed the difference between manipulative and deceptive play and most of these plays fall down on the manipulative side of things as you're often making said play with a pretty narrow range, and it's important for your opponent to not be aware of what your doing in order for the play to work up to it's potential. We'll take a look at what the plays are, how they're used, and what their utility is in the current tournament poker environment.

1. The Stop-n-go:
How it's used: By calling a raise or reraise pre flop out of position with the intention of open shoving the flop.

Current utility: Almost none. The stop-n-go is a highly outdated play though you still see it attempted in low to mid stakes tournaments from time to time, as well as in some live play. The stop-n-go was originally a useful play because people would actually make terrible pre flop calls for 1/3rd of their stack then open shove the flop when they flopped a pair in order to protect their hand. Anyone with half a brain can figure out why nobody should be flat calling 1/3rd of their stack pre simply hoping to flop a pair, and then shove that pair instead of checking to induce a bet to gain value before cramming. I've seen a few rare instances in live poker where I think this move can still be appropriate, but anyone playing mid to high stakes tournaments online should retire it, and likely has way before this article was written.
2. The Squeeze:
How it's used: By making a reraise (be it nominally or all in) after one player raises and another player flat calls behind and the action comes to you.

Current utility: Occasional but increasingly rare. At this point almost everyone (including many recreational live players) is aware of the squeeze and the fact that people can show up very light when doing it. The play used to be more effective when players were more loose and weak and made bad flat calls with no real plan for action behind. However, there are still numerous situations, both live and online (though I think it's a bit better live where people are still making too many bad flat calls pre) where making a light squeeze is the best play because of the players and stacks involved. Additionally, when playing on a table with thinking players you need to have the light squeeze in your arsenal otherwise they can feel confident folding considerable hands to you if you're only reraising in that situation with big hands.
3. The Go and go:
How it's used: A player in late position raises and you reraise out of one of the blinds to an amount that leaves you with roughly a pot sized bet on the flop, which you will shove close to every time (with the exception of flops you absolutely crush.) It is normally done with a good hand that can connect well with the flop in a situation where you don't expect the original raiser to call a shove, though it can be done with some weaker holdings.

Current utility: Moderate online, massive live. There are still many players online, even in HSMTT's who will flat call a reraise for ~30% of effective stacks with too wide a range and no real plan for the flop. In the arena of live play this play still has huge effectiveness as even many professionals still call pre flop reraises far too wide and will wind up having to fold on the flop a ton when it whiffs their hand. However, it's worth noting that this play is essentially useless against most online HSMTT regulars who are fully aware that once you put in roughly 30% of your stack pre flop you are basically never intending on folding.
4. The 4 Bet light:
How it's used: You open raise with a medium or weak strength hand. Someone behind you reraises, and you shove all in while praying to your personal God that you aren't called.

Current utility: Massive live and online, but with the caveat that it needs to be done with considerable selectiveness. If you just start 4 betting light all day every day you are going to wind up being a massive spew. However, at HSMTT's online this is a play that needs to be in your arsenal for the sake of having a balanced range. Otherwise every time you 4 bet all in pre flop your opponents will know you have a range of only quality holdings and can start adjusting their calling range accordingly. This play's effectiveness online and live is often for different reasons. Online most of this plays effectiveness comes from the fact that many players are capable of 3 betting light these days, and in order to prevent yourself from getting run over out of position pre flop you occasionally need to put a foot in someone's ass with the light 4 bet. In live poker, this plays effectiveness is more a result of players making pre flop 3 bets without a real plan for when they are 4 bet, and then talking themselves into folding an overly tight range to your shove. An example I have comes from a 4 bet that actually didn't work during the Aviation clubs 10k Euro buy in event last summer.

A player on my left who was a 35ish French guy was three betting me quite frequently, especially since I was pounding the two overly tight players on his left. During one hand I open raised 98o on the button to about 5000 and he 3 bet me to about 18,000 out of the small blind. I had about 64,000 in my stack and moved all in on him (it's not perfect math wise, as for 4 betting light I prefer to have at least 4 times a persons raise size in my stack, but in live you can shave it a little) and the player in the SB went into the tank for several minutes, seemed to consider folding, then reluctantly called with AQo. Although this 4 bet didn't work the point is still relevant, many players still make 3 bets just hoping you'll either fold or you'll flat call and the hand will play out in some easy and straight forward manner post flop, not really expecting the 4 bet. When you do 4 bet, they won't be sure if you're capable of making light 4 bets, and they'll often talk themselves into folds with hands that should be a snap call (for anyone whose unsure, if you are in the French players seat you should SNAP CALL the AQ, smash it over on the table, then yell "Your dead pal!")
5. The post flop min raise for value with a huge hand:
How it's used: You've got a massive hand that you really want value from. Your opponent makes a bet and you raise the minimum to keep him paying off.

Current utility: Highly opponent dependant, but its use is often mediocre compared to other options. The problem with min raising in a lot of situations is that it alerts your opponent that something is wrong, and since the move is so rarely used as a bluff (especially on the turn and river) people will often quickly give you credit for the big hand that you have. There are some situations against loose opponents who might get away if you make a larger raise where the move becomes more appropriate, but for the most part I'd recommend going with a standard sized raise in most instances. One situation I do often like to use the min raise is when you get the river in a live hand where you likely have the best hand and want to get more value, but know your opponent is very weak and won't pay off a big raise and also won't reshove unless he has a huge hand. An example would look like:

Your stack: 10,000, Big blinds stack: 10,000. Blinds 100/200. You hold 5c4c on the HJ. Big blind is a weak and loose player not capable of advanced bluffs.
Preflop: Folds to you on the HJ, you raise to 600, folds to the BB, BB calls.
Flop: K T 5 rainbow (Pot 1300)
BB checks, you bet 800, BB calls.
Turn: 9 (Pot 2900)
BB checks, you check behind.
River: 4 (Pot 2900)
BB bets 1200.
Here's a spot where min raising to 2400 with the intention of folding to a reraise might be best. Because of the stack sizes and the likely hands that your opponent calls your raise with, making a very small raise here may be optimal against many opponents as they will likely still call you with KQ/KJ/AK but on the times he comes over the top you can feel very confident he has the best hand. If you raise his bet to a normal amount of like 3500-4000 you commit a much larger portion of your stack, put yourself in a gross spot when he shoves, and KJ/KQ/AK will talk themselves into a fold much more often.
6. Stealing UTG:
How it's used: You open with a mediocre hand UTG in a spot where you expect to get considerable respect and often have it folded around.

Current effectiveness: Moderate and highly table dependant. The play has lost a lot of it's utility since it's heyday around 2006 when very few players would suspect you ever had anything but a very big hand when raising UTG. Now everyone at HSMTT's is aware that thinking players are capable of this, and in many cases online guys shove so wide pre that opening up too loose in early position can wind up being a spew. However, it's still a play worth having in your arsenal on tables with thinking players in order to help balance your range, but high use is not recommended. At live tournaments full of straight forward players you can use this play with decent frequency and expect it to work often, so long as you don't have a very aggressive image or have a table full of stations that don't care about what position you're raising from.

That's all for now at the moment, if you want to leave a comment on this article discussing other plays you want to see discussed please do. Thanks again to everyone who gave feedback on how to continue the series, I now have enough ideas for several more articles.

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10Dec/080

APPT Sydney TR part 3, Shake your Moneymaker

I wake up at 7:00am to Jarred knocking no my door. I had set my alarm for 7:10, even though the Titan $2500 starts at 7:00, but had asked Jarred to get me up earlier if he woke up. I grab a protein bar, go to the bathroom to throw some water on my face, and then saunter into the living room laptop in hand feeling surprisingly good for the six or so hours of sleep I got. I fire up the laptop and one table the tournament.

The tournament is a mostly card dead affair and a few hours in I open shove about 11 BB's with 99 in EP, get reshoved by BustoSoon with 77, which quickly leads to a 7 on the flop which holds. It's now a bit past 10am and I don't feel particularly tired. Jarred is fast asleep on the couch after getting one outed early and going back to bed. Stevo walks into the living room and I speak to him quietly so as not to wake up Jarred
"Hey man, no Titanament for you huh?"
"Nah, slept right through it."
"You know I feel pretty good. I think I'm going to go play the main event today. Feel up to it?"
"Yea I do. Jarred and I haven't registered for this day though."

Jarred slowly comes to life and we decide to go over to the casino for lunch and to get me bought in. I find Danny McDonnough at the registration booth and he lets me buy into the event using Stars money. I get some Thai food downstairs then hang out in the poker room socializing with people before the event. When I finally take my seat I wound up being sat directly across from my roommate Chris. We start with 20,000 in chips at 50/100 blinds and the table is mostly unknowns or vaguely familiar. My first major pot is against Chris and an overly loose local known as 'Toothpick Tony'.
Effective stacks: 20,000. Blinds 50/100. I hold AsJs on the HJ.
Preflop: UTG limps, folds to me on the HJ, I raise to 400, folds to Chris in the SB, Chris calls, folds back to UTG, UTG calls.
Flop: A 6 6 rainbow
Chris checks, UTG checks, and I check behind. The thought process here is that the limper never has an A and is straight forward enough to snap fold the flop. There is a very small range of aces in Chris's range and I think if I bet here I am getting two snap folds almost every time I'm ahead, and of course, never getting a better hand to fold.
Turn: J
Chris bets 700, UTG folds, I call. I decide to go with a river raise here because it will look so absurd he might call light and gives him one extra chance to fire an FPS bluff of some kind.
River: T
Chris bets 1200, I raise to 3500. Chris tanks for a long time and starts talking to me about how ridiculous my line is.
"If you have KQ I'm gonna kill you" he says as he mucks his hand. I think this is a very oddly played hand, but a considerable reason I took the line is because Chris and I know each other so well.

I try to see cheap flops while we're 200 BB's deep but for the most part my hands are too garbage. I'm not involved again until 100/200.
Effective stacks: ~20,000. Blinds 100/200. I hold KdJd in the BB. Button is a young and aggressive looking guy but hasn't been too out of line yet or anything.
Preflop: Folds to the button, button raises to 600, SB folds, I call.
Flop: 2s Kc 7c
I check, button bets 800, I call.
Turn: 6h
I check, button checks.
River: 5c
Because the flush got there I don't think I can value bet very well. I think I have a better chance of inducing bluffs for value and decide to check. The button bets 2000 and I quickly call. He turns over what appears to be nine high and I feel smart. Then I see that he has 98o for a straight and feel stupid.

For a very long time almost nothing happens. I am totally and utterly card dead and feeling calm and patient enough today that I don't feel like forcing some kind of action. Eventually I decide to use my image in a decent spot pre flop to attack a fairly aggressive player on my right.
My stack: ~20,000. HJ: ~25,000. Blinds 150/300 with 25 ante. I hold 7c5c on the CO.
Preflop: Folds to the HJ, HJ raises to 825, I reraise to 2500, folds back to HJ, HJ tanks for quite a while, then calls.
Flop: 8s 5s 4h
HJ checks, I check behind intending to call a bet on numerous turns.
Turn: 9c
HJ checks, I bet 3500 for combination of value and protection. The HJ thinks for a while and calls. I'm starting to think I'm going to need a red six on the river.
River: 6d
It takes all my willpower to not blurt "BINK!" The HJ checks and I think over my bet for a little while then fire 5500. The HJ quickly calls and I announce "Straight" with a twinge of embarrassment. The HJ looks disgusted with himself and Chris starts laughing at me.
"Bet that's not what you expected to hear Chris."

Two orbits later and with a considerably more aggressive image I'm involved with the same player:
My stack: ~30,000. SB: ~13,000. Blinds 150/300 with 25 ante. I hold TsTh in the BB.
Preflop: Folds around to the SB, SB raises to 850, I reraise to 2700, the SB announces all in. I was planning on snap calling but when he slides his chips into the middle I realize he might have more yellow '5000' chips than I thought (I'm sitting in seat 1 and him in seat 9.)
"That's like 12 or 13 thousand right?"
"Yea about that."
"Yep I call."
"Good call. I thought you were making a move again."
The SB tables his 55 and I've got him crushed for a major pot early.
Flop: T 7 4
Turn: 4
River: 6
I shake hands with the SB and he wanders off polite in his disappointment.

I play a few small pots but mostly am card dead and uninvolved. There is a young American from Vegas across the table and we've been chatting back and forth and getting to a lot of flops heads up but one of us always winds up giving up quickly. It's not long until we're involved again.
My stack: ~43,000. Button: ~33,000. BB: ~50,000. Blinds 200/400 with 25 ante. I hold TdTc in MP2.
Preflop: Folds to me in MP2, I raise to 1100, folds to the button, button calls, SB folds, BB calls.
Flop: Ah Qh Ts
BB checks, I bet 2800, button calls, BB folds.
Turn: 3d
I bet 6500 (should be a bit bigger, I often under bet a bit in live.) The button calls fairly quickly.
River: 5h
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I check intending to fold on that incredibly awful card because I don't think he's value betting worse much at all. He thinks it over and bets 3000. God damn it. There's like 24,000 out there, he can value bet two pair for that right? I grit my teeth and make the call. He tables Th7h and I think back to an article I wrote where I wrote that bets like that are always value bets begging to get called.

Only a few orbits later we're involved yet again:
My stack: ~31,000. Button: ~50,000. Blinds 200/400 with a 25 ante. I hold 7c6c in MP2.
Preflop: Folds to me in MP2, I raise to 1100, folds to the button, button calls, SB folds, BB calls.
Flop: Ac Ah Qc
BB checks, I bet 2300, button calls, BB folds.
Turn: Jc
The card looks better than it is. I think there's a considerable chance he has a full house or a flush better than mine and pot control seems pretty important here. I check and he fires 3800. I call.
River: Kc
Wow, I mean while it's not the worst card ever, it's certainly close. I check and he thinks for a while then checks behind with AQo. I turn over my cards are we both start laughing.

Not too long after I get moved to a new table with a few familiar faces but nobody I'm overly familiar with when it comes to playing style. There is a huge rail gathered around the rail, as there has been with almost every event here in Sydney. The interest they have on a spectator level has been pretty impressive in Sydney. A number of my early open raises on the table get three bet, including by the player I'm involved in my next major hand with.
My stack: ~21,600, SB: ~70,000, blinds 300/600 with 75 ante. I hold AcKc UTG.
Preflop: I raise to 1600, UTG+1 calls, folds around to the HJ, HJ reraises to 6500, it folds back to me, I calmly announce all in and push my chips into the middle, UTG+1 folds and HJ goes into the tank. He's both talking to himself and talking to me and like always I stare straight at the felt and make almost zero movement. After much consideration he folds his hand and says he had tens.

As the day begins drawing to a close I turn up the aggression pre flop and gain a few chips taking pots pre including making a three bet with 87o vs a hijack raise. By the end of the day I'm sitting on 30,300 feeling pretty good about it considering the cards I was dealt.

I spend the next day playing golf with Andy McLeod, StevoL, Chris, Punty, Jarred and Strongplay (Joel Dodds.) I make $100 off McLeod giving him massive odds on medium length chips and puts. Together I think we lose in the area of 40 balls. I blame the clubs.

The next day is the official sloshed shootout. Nine of us get together and drink beer, smoke joints, then head over to laser tag in the mall by the harbor. A youth wasted on Halo 3 and Call of Duty 4 has well prepared me for this day, though I am less plastered when playing those games. Between each game we head out to the bar and down beers and Jagerbombs. After the laser tag we go bowling and I end up making around $200 and get screwed out of $50 after Chris intentionally throws the ball when it's my turn and massively gutters it, which comes back to bite me when I tie Jarred for our $50 bet with the spread. Chris can go fuck himself.

Afterwards we go over to some fancy ass club called 'Ivey'. We meet a few other guys there but they won't let one in because the previous night he told the owner to "Go fuck yourself" so we leave him behind and go into the bar. Mark Vos can't resist throwing pillows at a couple that's making out on one of the couches, even after the guy warns him that if he does it a third time it won't end well. Eventually we all end up on the dance floor and the only girl in the group is an American chick. We end up grinding hardcore all over the dance floor, something basically unheard of in Australian clubs which causes the only other American chick in the joint to bee line it straight for us and start grinding all over the girl we're with. Everyone is drunk and making an ass of themselves on the dance floor, and it's fucking awesome.

After that we somehow end up at a shady ass strip club in 'Kings Cross' and I realize it's time to get my ass home before things get further out of hand. Besides, I always want my eight hours of sleep.

I wake up the next morning feeling refreshed having gotten what is much more sleep than I've been getting most of the trip. I walk over to the casino for day two of the tournament and find 'Monster_Dong' and 'Delaney_Kid' outside at a café. They tell me they got evicted from the hotel at 6am for jumping balconies. I tell him I bet it was Mark's idea. He tells me it was.

When I get into the poker room I find out I've been seated at the feature table. They aren't filming the event with hole cams, but they have set up a little stage area and the action on that table is being broad cast throughout the room. On my direct right I find Chris Moneymaker, the man who ignited the poker world. I've always wanted a chance to talk to Chris. We start chatting about brief stuff and I introduce myself
"Hey man, I'm Tony."
"I'm Chris."
"Good to meet you, and thanks for the poker boom."
"Heh, thanks dude, you know I really had all you other guys at heart when I did that too."
"Oh for sure. Totally selfless act."
"Yep, I was doing it for the people and the game."

Chris is quite talkative at the table and a very approachable guy. Just about everyone on the table wants to talk to him and he responds to them all warmly. At one point while we're playing he leans over to me, points at a large poster of himself along the wall and says sarcastically
"You know they put that guy up there because he's so damn handsome, not cause of his poker looks."
"Oh for sure, complete stunner, I'm getting distracted" I quip.

A few rounds into the table I get involved in my first hand that wasn't my just taking the blinds preflop.
My stack: 28,000. Button: ~32,000. Blinds 400/800 with 100 ante. I hold AcKc UTG.
Preflop: I raise to 2100, UTG+1 calls, folds to the button, button reraises to 8900, folds back to me, I calmly announce all in and slide my stack into the middle. UTG+1 thinks for a while and folds, then button goes into the tank.
"Aaaaagh. Do you have a couple rockets down there Tony?"
...
"God. Oh man. I really feel like you have aces."
He continues to think for a bit.
"I just can't fold this though. I call."
I expect to see QQ but instead get shown a rather surprising KK. The guy is really nice about it and clearly no slowroll was meant at all, he is simply very nervous.
Flop: T 5 6
Turn: 5
River: J

I shake his hand and wish him luck, then shake the hand of many other players on the table. I walk off and run into Steve Williams who deals over at Crown. He quickly buys me a beer. Things could be worse.

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2Dec/080

APPT Sydney TR Part 2, Insomnia

I wake up at 9:45am to get ready for the seminar which starts at 10:30. I wasn't able to fall asleep until 4am like normal, so the wake up process is pretty painful. I throw on my casual suit and walk over to the casino after stopping off for a 'Redbull' at the corner convenience store.

Because two of our regular seminar contributors were unable to attend (Dennis Waterman and Tyson Streib) famous successful Australian live pro and worlds nicest guy Eric Assadourian was scouted by Lee to sub in and replace one of them. A lot of the additional content has fallen down to Lee and me over the course of the roughly 12 hour seminar.

We have about 25 attendees and I chug down my 'Redbull' plus a constant stream of water to keep myself alert. I got involved with the seminars after becoming friends with Lee Nelson and his having seen my online articles. We've created a nearly 200 page work book for it and it lasts the full day with a winner take all tournament at the end. Most of the players we get in there are beginner to intermediate (and a couple more advanced), and then there's a number who are really sort of paying for interaction with Lee and Joe and don't mind learning some poker along the way. I think a guy who attended the seminar said it best as I was taking a piss in a toilet stall
"Yea I went to this great poker seminar today, there was Lee Nelson and Joe Hachem and Eric Assadourian and...yea it was good mate."

I function as the tournament director for the satellite where we give the winner an entry into the APPT main event and by the last couple of hours I'm really struggling with exhaustion. The seminar has brought in dealers from the NPL and all of them are male except for a young blonde girl who bears a resemblance to Eva Green in 'Casino Royale' including an insanely over the top dressed up look with low cut top. She basically brings the room to a stand still when she walks in and guys keep walking up to me and excitedly saying "What's the deal with the blonde?!" I can not for the fucking life of me figure out what she was doing dealing cards like that and want to ask her "Do you always dress to deal like you fell out of a Bond movie?" Unfortunately at some point she walks off during break and never shows up again.

After the seminar Lee and Pen take me over to the Chinese restaurant to indulge in more of the Peking duck we had the previous night. After that I go down to the registration event and buy into tomorrows $2200 6 max tournament, which looks to be one of the best of the series. By the bar I run into (and obviously have to have a couple beers with) Dom, Gavin Griffen and his enchantingly intoxicated girlfriend Kristen. She tells me that Natalie Portman is a whore. I tell her that she is an angel and that I have a photo with her where my hand is actually making physical contact with the Natalie Portman and I will not tolerate such blasphemy. Kristen is a total fucking riot and Gavin Griffen is as good of combination of player/person as they come. When I get home I try to get to sleep at a normal hour but of course can't dose off until nearly 4:30am. It's okay though, as my alarm is set for noon so I should be alright.

I'm ripped awake by searing heat around 9am. It seems the air conditioning is not on in my room and it's absolutely sauna hot. I walk out into the hall drenched in my own sweat and find Chris awake.
"Jesus man, my room is ridiculous fucking hot. How do I turn the AC on?"
"Sorry mate it seems there's no vents that flow through the rooms. You'll just have to leave the door open."

I open the door and try to return to sleep. It's too hot. I end up asking Stevo if I can sleep in his slightly better ventilated room while he grinds online. I go lie down and attempt to sleep for a half hour or so but of course fail. I can feel the exhaustion but my body simply won't go into off mode. I crawl out and decide I'll go try to get an 11am restaurant at the Thai restaurant and meet up with McLeod.

Naturally the Thai restaurant is closed on Monday's so I wander over to the hotel lobby and wake McLeod's ass up on the phone. He tells me he got a solid two hours sleep, his difficulties being worse than mine. I find Lee Nelson in the hotel lobby and hang out with him and Pokerstars blogger Ted for half an hour before McLeod finds his way down. At this point we're running out of time so simply grab a sandwich before the event. My first live event in months and I'm going to do this shit on nine hours sleep over 48 hours.

I find my way to my table and sit down behind a stack of 8000 chips with the blinds at 25/50. I've got online player 'Harris' Pavlou on my direct right, but other than that I'm not overly familiar with anyone on the table. I'm involved in my very first hand:
Stacks: 8k, blinds 25/50. I hold JTo on the button.
Preflop: Two folds, I raise to 150, SB folds, BB calls.
Flop: T 2 5 rainbow
BB leads out for 200. He's an older guy and I'm unfamiliar with his play. I call.
Turn: 8
BB leads 300, I call.
River: 2
The BB checks. I briefly consider value betting but figure there's simply not that many hands he double leads and calls a river bet with that are worse. I check back and he tables an oddly played AJo.

Unfortunately, the whole of the 25/50 level for me is very card dead. We're playing with 40 minute levels and it's not until the blinds have gone up to 50/100 that I get involved again:
Stacks: ~8k, blinds 50/100. I hold AsQc in the SB.
Preflop: Fold, HJ raises to 200, CO calls, button folds, I call, BB folds.
Flop: 6c Qd 2d
I check, HJ bets 450, CO calls, I call.
Turn: Kh
I check, HJ checks, CO bets 1200. I fold.

Harris is playing fairly aggressive on my right and we haven't played any serious pots in an hour when the next hand comes up:
Stacks: ~8k, blinds 50/100, I hold AhJc in the SB.
Preflop: Folds to Harris on the button, Harris raises to 300, I call, BB calls.
Flop: Kh 6d 2d
I check, BB checks, Harris thinks for a moment before firing 600. I think Harris is going to fire this flop a huge % because the BB is a very weak and straight forward player who calls too much pre but folds often post. I checkraise him to 1600, the BB folds, and Harris folds.

Again I go very card dead for the rest of the level and very little happens for me. On the plus side, I don't really lose any chips either. It's not until the blinds increase that I'm involved again, this time against the player who donked AJ into me on the flop and turn:
My stack: ~10k, MP2: ~6k, blinds 100/200, I hold 2d2c in the BB.
Preflop: MP2 raises to 600, folds to me in the BB, I call (not good online but fine live against weaker opponents in my opinion.)
Flop: Qh 9s 6h
I check, MP2 checks.
Turn: 7d
I check, MP2 checks.
River: 6c
I fire 400, MP2 thinks briefly and calls. I table my two pair and he mucks.

My table image stays very tight and a moderately straight forward player has raised my last five BB's without resistance when the following hand comes up:
My stack: ~9600, button: ~15k, blinds 100/200 with 25 ante. I hold 3h2h in the BB.
Preflop: Folds to the button, button raises to 600, SB folds, I reraise to 1800 (again, super nity image here), button tanks for quite some time and calls.
Flop: Jc 9d 8d
I check with the intention of aborting quicker than a pregnant teenager on this disaster flop. He checks behind me.
Turn: 3d
Hello beautiful, let him have AQ. I check and he checks behind.
River: Th
Fuck AQ. I check again and he checks back.
"Any pair?" I ask.
"No, you?"
"The bottom one."
I proudly table my 3h2h and he says "Aaah! I knew you were making a move on me! I should have shoved pre."
Apparently my extremely robotic in hand behavior was no match for this guy, because I got my soul read.

An orbit or so later I raise A8cc on the HJ and the button shoves for 11 BB's. It folds back to me and I call and get shown his QdJd. The board runs out 9 2 5 Q 3 rainbow and I ship him over 2225 of my chips.

At some point a young New Zealand player was moved to my direct left. He seems to be online and once he gets a hold of some chips he really begins opening it up and three bets me a couple of times. Unfortunately, because I'm so card dead I keep having to fold and overall I have a very nity image leading into the next hand.
My stack: ~11k, MP2: ~20k, I hold JcJd in the BB, blinds 100/200 with 25 ante.
Preflop: MP2 raises to 550, folds to me in the BB. I consider 3 betting but I haven't made a single 3 bet on the table and I've been extremely nity overall. I'm really not sure I can get 55 BB's in given that he's technically UTG and my image. I decide to call (which feels very debatable.)
Flop: Q 5 7 rainbow
I check, MP2 bets 600, I call.
Turn: 7
I check, MP2 thinks for a while and bets 1400. I consider that since I've given up to him every time pre flop and very often on the flop after I tried continuation betting he may try another barrel on me light since I've shown little willingness to call down. I decide to call one more time (again, quite debatable.)
River: Q
I check and he bets 3000. I go into the tank for some time and try to rethink the whole hand. The end conclusion I come to is that every time this guy has turned over his hand after showing consistent or considerable strength he's had the goods and he can't expect my being tight resulting in my peeling the flop and turn without something that connects pretty well. After about as long as I think about any live hand I slide my hand towards the muck and feel kind of gross about the hand in general.

For the whole of the 150/300 level I'm card dead and the New Zealand guy starts 3 betting me quite a lot with great effectiveness. It's not until 200/400 that I get involved again:
My stack: ~6000, HJ: ~7500, I hold AdKh on the CO, blinds 200/400 with 50 ante.
Preflop: MP2 folds, HJ open shoves 7500 (he's like 55 years old and has been doing this quite a lot, just how many people have read the DJK glorious shove thread is getting disturbing) I reshove, the rest fold. He shows JTo.
Flop: Q 5 A
Turn: J
River: 6

I stay quiet for most of the round but when the blinds go up to 300/600 Australian regular Andrew Scott gets moved on my direct right. It folds to him on the button and he shoves for 6k and I reshove A7o out of the SB. The BB folds and he tables A4o which loses to me when the board runs out A 7 2 9 T.

The very next hand we are four handed and the CO folds. I peek down at 8To and raise to 1500 as I'm stacking up my chips. The New Zealander in the SB 3 bets me for like the sixth time or something to 4500. The BB folds and I announce all in fairly quickly and casually, for 21.5k. He thinks briefly and folds.

Again I go card dead for a very long time and can't make anything happen. I'm not really getting out of line because the New Zealand guy keeps 3 betting me and a couple of other guys on the table are huge stations. It's not until the next level that I'm involved again:
My stack: ~21k, button: ~30k, blinds 400/800. I hold Jh8h in the BB.
Preflop: Folds to the button, button raises to 2200, SB folds, I call (he's raising a ton of buttons, I've got tight image that I'll use to check shove a number of flops on.)
Flop: Td Kh Tc
I check, button checks back.
Turn: 9h
I bet 2700, button calls.
River: 5h
I think briefly then fire 5500, button thinks it over for quite some time and reluctantly calls. I table my flush and take the pot for a stack that's easily my high point for the day.

I try to open things up a little bit but the New Zealand player on my left continues to pummel me over and over. When the blinds are 500/1000 and with my giving him a walk in the last two blind verse blind confrontations we play a hand together:
My stack: ~31k, BB: ~45k, blinds 500/1000 with 100. I hold Q5o in the SB.
Preflop: Folds to me, I raise to 3000 (this looks weird, but basically he seemed stack size aware and knew he couldn't 3 bet me here light without being close to committed and also the history of two walks) and for the first time in a long time he flat calls.
Flop: A T 2 rainbow
I fire out 4000 and he thinks briefly and raises to 9000. For some reason I just think with our history there is absolutely no way he raises this flop like this to get me in, especially this texture. It's the perfect flop for an aggressive guy like him to mess with me on and I think if he had a decent ace he'd 3 bet pre to get it in and if he had a weak one he'd flat call the flop. I move all in and he only thinks for a few seconds before folding. At that moment the tournament director comes over to tell us we're moving.
"Well, as long we're moving" I say, then table my hand.
"Yea, you were in front."
"Yea, I thought that might be in the case. Good luck on the other table dude, thanks for making my life hell all day, you played really well."
"Thanks."

I find my way over to a new table and the tournament is down to 24 players with 12 paying. My new table has the chip leader sitting on nearly 100,000. I'm second in chips at the new table and the rest of players are unknown to me.

I play one small pot where I accidentally value town myself on the river against the chip leader in a very passively played pot. A few orbits later we get involved again:
My stack: ~31k, SB: ~100k, blinds 500/1000 with 100 ante. I hold AcQc in MP2.
Preflop: I raise to 2500, folds to SB, SB raises to 7000, BB folds, I move all in, SB quickly calls with AA. Shit.
Flop: Q 6 2 rainbow
Turn: 3
River: 4
I shake half the tables hand and wish them luck.

Despite being incredibly sleep deprived I feel pretty happy with the way I played in the tournament and even though I was card dead pretty much all day I never just made boredom raises. After I bust out some friends and I walk over to the 'Subway' in the casino and I'm so mentally exhausted I attempt to grab through the plastic case to buy a cookie thinking I can somehow unlatch it. The thing has no latch and is only accessible from the cashier's side. Chris looks at me like I'm a fucking maniac and asks what I'm doing. I'm really not sure.

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