Around the World in 150 Days, Day 28, Iraq and Back
May 3rd, Madison: I wake up at 11am. I have made plans to go to lunch with my dad and some of his old coworkers from before he retired last year. We're to meet them as well as my little brother in the city but as I'm getting ready I get the sense that I have probably woken up slightly too late.
We drive into the city and park near the capitol. We walk over to the Japanese restaurant we're supposed to meet at and find it closed and ourselves about 10 minutes late. Neither of us brought a phone and neither the coworkers nor my brother are anywhere to be seen. We get a coffee next door and wait around a while but nobody shows. We get lunch elsewhere, then stop by and visit my dad's old place of work.
My dad has been playing a lot of tennis lately and I played competitively until I was 16. I used to play for my high school but when I was busted by my mom at my very first drinking party during homecoming of my sophomore year she insisted that I turn myself into the athletic department, who were a notorious bunch of overzealous rule Nazis. They suspended me for 25% of the season for having been at the party, and when I showed up that year to practice all the coaches treated me like shit due to my suspension. By the time I became eligible I was so sick of taking their crap that I just quit and never played competitively again. I think one of the most appealing aspects of poker is that there are no real authority figures in the game.
We go home to get changed then drive over to some very nice courts in Edgewood. I played quite often before I left Melbourne so my stroke is pretty sharp save my backhand which is especially difficult given that I mashed up my hand working a boxing bag with no gloves in Vegas last week. My dad is a good opponent for me skill wise at tennis as we're roughly at the same skill level though I have a 40 year age and mobility advantage. The other factor is his competitiveness, which has him exploding at himself when he misses shots and claiming he wants to quit playing for the afternoon. I did not inherit this competitiveness, and after six years in poker I would describe my temper as something between comatose and nonexistent.
When we finish we head home and eat dinner. Then I suggest we go to the gym because I haven't done any weight lifting in a few days and I intend on using my time in Wisconsin to try and get as physically fit as possible before the grind that is the WSOP. At the gym I spend the first half hour of my work out texting girls to set up dates and get one sorted with Isabelle for Wednesday. I will be cooking. I do a leg lift work out then hit the stationary bike for 20 minutes on level eight.
After the work out we return home and I take a shower. I get into decent clothes, pack up my computer, and go to do some work at the book store, which will give me the opportunity to both concentrate on getting some writing done and also perhaps chat up some women. When I arrive I am disappointed the only women around seem to be in high school, and I'm not Matthew McConaughey. I find a seat and start writing. I'm online talking to my friend Mike Graham that I grew up with, who has since joined the marines and done two tours in Iraq and I haven't seen him in at least three years. He tells me he's free for the night and it's cool if I swing by. I do a bit of writing work then the stores speaker comes on and says they'll be closing in 10 minutes. Shit, I barely got anything done.
I drive into the city to meet Mike. He's got a nice apartment near the university and looks to be in very good shape. He tells me he's been doing MMA for two years now, and having finished the active part of his service in the Marines is now back at school in Madison, which is being paid for by the military. He spends much of our conversation lamenting that since I've left most people have just settled into some shit routine where they have a job they hate, a girlfriend they tolerate, and the diet and exercise habits of Homer Simpson. Whenever we ever so rarely catch up I always enjoy asking him about war, as it is something I'm fairly positive I'll never experience and so totally out of the ordinary. He tells me that his more recent tour was pretty quiet and boring, not unlike the last where he's moderately certain he filled some guy with a string of bullets from a machine gun on top of a jeep, though he'll never be certain. We are drinking Miller Lite.
When I get home I try to get a little more writing work in, but it's getting late so I set the computer away and lie down. Hopefully with all the exercise sleep should come easy. It does, I drift off.
Around the World in 150 Days, Day 27, WSOP Predictions
May 2nd, Madison: Today wound up being a very straight forward day, not particularly suitable for blogging. I sat home and grinded online tournaments all afternoon and evening as it is Sunday, and then I went to the gym for about an hour and a half. I cashed some of my tournaments but nothing particularly interesting happened, and my work out was obviously pretty straight forward. As such, I'd like to use this blog entry to make some WSOP predictions. I mentioned this entry to my friend David Huber at pocketfives, and we decided to use it as a front page article there for a day before I put it up here:
It's that time of year again! As the WSOP fast approaches people have many questions and predictions, and after spending some time in Vegas I thought I'd drop in to offer a few of my own.
1. Field sizes will be down, but only very slightly: Many people seem worried this year that with the recession, swine flu, and almost zero preliminary events being filmed this year that the numbers will be down considerably. They point to how other tournaments have done throughout the continental US as their major piece of evidence. They are correct that US fields are down, but it seems globally that the game is doing very well. The EPT was enormous this year, and the LAPT and APPT both had respectable turnouts on top of the random events that weren't associated with a major tour throughout the world. I think the WSOP will take a very small dip, but nothing noticeable or that should really concern anyone.
2. Online players will crush the NLH events, again: If you look back over the last few years NLH events at the WSOP you'll realize that there is a considerable percentage of online kids who are winning them (though obviously not entirely.) I think this year with more small NLH events that plenty of guys can play or bet backed for, plus more and more kids coming of age, means we'll see another year of the kids showing what they can do.
3. Devilfish will make hundreds of young women uncomfortable: But then, how is this different from any other six week period of the year?
4. Durrr will own fools: Oh God, so many fools will be owned by Durrr. He frightens me with his owning abilities. The question about Durrr is whether he'll spend time playing many WSOP events instead of high stakes cash that gets together in Bobby's room or other places, though how much big action gets up in Bobby's is a question in it of itself.
5. As far as a few specific guesses for MTT guys who will crush; Shaundeeb, Zeejustin, Luckychewy: I feel like Shaun has really got his head in the right place to do some crushing this year. I mean obviously there is always a shit ton of variance involved, but in terms of picking a guy who has pretty much blanked out live to do something big I feel like Shaun is the clear choice. He is always sober when playing live these days and he's put up some insane results lately I just wonder what kind of mental plane he's on. While hanging out with him in Vegas I really got the sense that his memory for players and their tendencies and understanding of how to manipulate that history is something special that most guys simply don't have or don't have the focus to bother executing.
Zeejustin seems like a perennial threat to do something big, and he just showed off his skills by winning the Caesar's $5,000 circuit event. Talking to other people about him you get the sense that everyone agrees that he's a very switched on and capable guy with a really excellent game. When I discussed hands with him during my time in Vegas in April I could tell he was thinking over every detail and angle of the hand (particularly against Men the Master) and was essentially very impressed with his analytical skills. He'll also be playing a high number of events including mixed games, which makes it likely we see him at some final tables.
Luckychewy is a guy I've been talking about for years. He's recently had a couple of major results by winning the $2,500 heads up event in the WCOOP as well as a very deep run in the WPT championship. He'll be playing a ton of events and my conversations with him was by far one of the most influential factors in the development of my own game, and there was a hell of a lot more learning from him than he did from me in those talks. Most don't know his real name, but watch for Andrew Lichtenberger deep in WSOP events.
6. Phil Hellmuth will enter the main event with 20 women on each arm: Because entering it with five on each simply isn't enough. Then they will all sit around looking pretty and clapping if he wins a pot and remain quiet when he loses and yells "HUNNY! HUNNY! HE CALLED ME WITH A QUEEN-TEN! GAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" at the crowd. Then when I hit on them they will claim they have no idea who he is.
7. The WSOP ME will get roughly 6,500 players: Following through on my guess about the WSOP being down slightly I think it will carry over to the main event. Last year got 6,844 and I think this year we're looking at roughly 6,500, though for this event particularly an increase actually wouldn't shock me.
8. The WSOP will be run quite smoothly throughout: The improvement in the operations between 2008 and the two years previous to it was enormous. My assumption is that by this year any minor remaining issues that were a problem should be ironed out, as they really seemed to pay attention to detail last year. We saw a considerable reduction in giant lines, no more tent, a separate room for satellites as well as a separate room that often held the day 2 of tournaments, plus an efficient cage room that rarely had a line of more than a few people for it.
9. Men the Master angle shoot over/under: Depends how many events he plays, but I feel like he probably fits in one solid angle per tournament. He plays a ton, so I'll take a shot at about 30 over the course of the summer. That's just on the table mind you.
10. Some truly insane prop bets will go down: As they always do around WSOP time. Ivey will probably make some bet so balla that it makes the cumulative ballaness of every rap artist ever appear meager and inconsequential by comparison, even Biggie. If people have ideas for really nutso ones I'd encourage them to contact me, as I threw away my dignity a long time ago and would be interested in some cool action.
Around the World in 150 Days, Day 26, Mifflin Street Mayhem
May 1st, Madison: I am woken up at 8:10am by Semo standing over me telling me to "Get the fuck up."
"Ooooooh God, are we really doing this?" I ask.
"Yes, we need to start drinking soon now get your lazy ass up."
"God damn it Semo."
Sarah slowly comes to consciousness and we both start cursing about how early it is. I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth, then step into the kitchen where four of us are standing around talking about our upcoming day. Semo says we need to head out, so I give Sarah a hug and kiss, and then we depart. We walk over to his apartment and find an already awake and drinking Chewy. He makes us all breakfast and David starts cranking tunes so we all dance around the apartment like a bunch of jackasses:
A few women friends of David's come over and we all start drinking beers. Then we decide it's time to hit the house parties and go to the end of Mifflin for a party in an apartment building on the end that has an outdoor beer pong table. Semo and I start challenging people and eventually get a game with Allison and Chewy. It's very windy out and it makes the aiming difficult, but I get to drink plenty of beer so I'm happy. The guys hosting the apartment have a keg on the roof and are doing keg stands up there while we play. I feel too tired for such things.
We hang out for a couple hours then Semo and I break off to hit up another party on Mifflin. On our way there I suggest we take some pictures with the police so we walk up and politely ask for a photo
"Will you guys take one beating me with your canes?" I ask. They decline and we go with the nice ones:
I decide I need some food so we hit a sub place, then walk to another party. The street is starting to fill up with people, but it's nowhere near capacity yet. There is a bunch of speakers set up in the center of the block cranking music that everyone is dancing to, and every single house seems to be having a party. We go to our next party and wait for my friend Mark and David's friend Gurby to meet us up. We keep chugging the now semi warm beer that Semo is carrying around in his backpack, then take some group pictures:
We go inside the party and starting hanging with people. David has us meet up a group of about 10 very outgoing black chicks that also randomly has some white girl from Melbourne Australia in it as well. They are all fun as hell and we hang out in the kitchen flirting with them:
I chat up a girl named Isabelle (name changed) and get to the point that we're calling each other hubby and wifey. We discuss cooking and she mentions that a man has never cooked for her before. I tell her I will and that she should put her number in my phone and I'll call her about making dinner. She puts her number in and we go back to drinking and flirting.
After some now indiscernible amount of time we decide to go to another party and go outside. The street is now absolutely packed with people:
Even the back alley's behind the actual row of houses is just packed with people:
We go over to another party and continue drinking beer out of the backpack. The largest problem of the day is finding a place to piss, as the line at the parties is always around 10 people long and if you go out back you risk being arrested, and I see several people get caught for it and dragged off in handcuffs. Everywhere is completely packed and everyone is totally wasted. I feel buzzed but more exhausted from lack of sleep than drunk. I see some girl at the party that used to like me in high school but she was 15 when I was 18 so I never did anything about it. I have forgotten her name so I walk up and say
"Hey, aren't you Lindsay Walker's little sister's friend?"
"Yea, I'm Sam (name changed). You're Tony"
"Yes that's right, Sam. Sorry, it's been so many years."
"That's okay."
I chat to Sam for quite a while then say bluntly "So you used to have a crush on me in high school yea?"
"Yea I did, you're still so cute."
"Well it takes one to know one."
We discuss why I never went after her in high school and I mention the age thing. She thinks it cool that jail bait wasn't my scene. I tell her we should meet up later in the night and she agrees. She puts her number in my phone then runs off to another party.
We head back to the party we were at before and chill out in the back. Some guy sitting in a chair talking to us falls asleep as it seems everyone today is on around four hours sleep. Obviously he gets photos taken of him:
Semo and I decide to take a break from everything and go back to his apartment for a bit. It's near 6pm and we have been drinking since 9am. I lie down in Chewy's bed and take a nap.
I awake at 8pm the sound of Semo and Chewy talking. They are discussing what we're going to do for the evening. After I stir myself to proper consciousness I find that I am feeling much better and definitely in the mood to keep the night going. Chewy says he knows of another party for us to go to, so we down a couple beers at the apartment then head out. On the way I pick up a sandwich so I have something in my stomach.
We arrive at the party and Semo and I immediately commandeer the beer pong table. We talk two girls into playing with us and we each partner up with one. It turns out mine is from Hawaii and knows my friend Cade London. She is very cool and we start crushing at beer pong. One of her friends comes up to me and says that she hears I play poker for a living. She is a cute Hispanic girl named Maria (name changed) and we talk a ton about travel. She mentions that she was a very serious gymnast and I say to her
"Well I have to confess, though it's a secret, that I did gymnastics for three years of middle school...though I am heterosexual." We wind up standing next to each other leaning against the wall talking for around 20 minutes. Her leg bumps into mine and she apologizes
"It's okay, you can play footsie with me, I won't tell anyone." She is very curious about poker and I tell her we should play some time. She agrees and I have her put her number into my phone.
Eventually we tire of the beer pong and head out to my favorite bar in all of Madison, Maduro's. It's a cigar bar right off the capitol, and we meet my old friends that I met by hanging out in a cigar and wine store from the ages of 18-21 on the West side. We're thrilled to see each other and spend quite a bit of time catching up:
The rest of our group makes it over to the bar and we all hang out drinking cocktails and smoking cigars:
I make a ton of plans with my friend Matthew (the blond haired guy in the pictures) to go down to Chicago over a weekend and tear the place up. He's the kind of awesome guy to hang out with that seems to know everyone and somehow have all the right hook ups, and spending time with guys like him and Robert (the black guy in the pictures) did a lot to culture me at a young age and give me a knowledge base for cigars and wine.
I never quite get fully drunk over the course of the evening, which is quite fine as I'm not interested in having a serious hangover. Eventually I get tired and decide to just take a cab back to the West side instead of staying over at Semo's again as I'd have to crash on the couch. I get home at 4:30am and make myself some food, then fall asleep exhausted.
Around the World in 150 Days, Day 25, I Love Madison
April 30th, Milwaukee: I wake up when Jenson enters the room. I look at the clock; it reads 8:21am.
"Oh sorry, did I wake you?" he says
"Oh, no not really, I think I was kind of up and just not fully aware of it. I got to sleep super early last night. You off to work?"
"Yea, off to the working world for me."
"Alright dude, have a good one. I'm just gonna hang out writing today, I'll be back here at 6pm to get the ride back to Madison with you."
"Sounds good buddy, later."
I lay around in bed for a while debating whether I'm actually going to get up or try to fall back asleep. It's so bright in the room that I eventually give up on the idea of sleep and throw on some shorts and tennis shoes. I go for a run around the neighborhood then return home and take a shower.
I walk over to 'Whole Foods' where my friend Derek works and ask if he's around. They tell me he's currently on break. I order an Asian chicken stir fry and have a seat in the café area. Derek eventually returns from his break and hangs around chatting to me for a bit before he has to return to work. When I finish my food I walk over to the nearby coffee shop and run into a class mate from college. We can't remember each other's names anymore when we see each other.
I hang around the café writing for several hours. When the time approaches 5pm my computer starts running low on battery so I pack it up and walk back to Jenson's place. He returns home shortly afterwards and I pack up my things then we drag the heavy bags downstairs into his car.
The ride from Milwaukee to Madison is about 90 minutes and we spend the duration talking about my experiences abroad, his career options, and his relationship to his girlfriend Ali. For a long time I thought Jenson would pursue a serious career in film, but after spending some time in the industry he's questioning whether that's the right track for him. Unfortunately there's not a ton of film work in Milwaukee compared to most other cities.
When we arrive in Madison he drives us over to the West side and drops me off at my parents house. I ring the bell and nobody answers. I open up the garage door and bring my bags inside. A bit later my parents and brother return home and we make plans to get dinner, though my brother Joey has already eaten so he won't be joining us. My parents give me the option of choosing the restaurant, I pick Thai.
At the restaurant I catch them up with what I've been up to since we last spoke in person nearly a year ago. At the time they'd come out to visit me in Las Vegas during the WSOP and check out the city, a 180 turn from their years of disapproval at my career choice. At dinner they do their best to catch me up on people I knew growing up, but at this point their names and relevancy are starting to slip from memory in some cases.
After dinner they drop me off to meet my brother at 'Pegasus Games', a gaming store that sells things like 'Magic Cards', which I collected throughout middle school. I've grown out of those things since, but I still enjoy having geeky conversations about X-men, DC comics, anime, and whatever else. There is a cute girl working behind the counter that my brother clearly likes. When we leave the store I ask him to drive me down to a party at my friends place and spend the ride instructing him how to get her phone number.
We park the car near the campus downtown. I tell my brother he should come to the party with me and hang out for a bit. We get up to the apartment and I am greeted by my good friend Semo who visited me in Australia, and I lunge at him for a huge hug then we exchange our standard racial slur barrage
"Holy fuck it's good to see you money grubbing Jew son of a bitch!" I yell
"Right back at ya you greasy haired dago guinea mother fucker!" he retorts.
He immediately places a beer in my hand and we start playing 'asshole' with some girls and his good buddy 'Chewy' (it's a drinking game.) I am told there is a keg in the bathroom. Semo suggests I do a keg stand and I am quickly on board. We enter the bathroom and Semo and Chewy hold me upside down while I grip the keg. A girl named Brittney offers to hold the tap in my mouth but I demand my brother does it because "I want this to a be a fucking bonding experience!" Joey is 19 and in his second year of college but apparently has no experience with kegs because he attempts to place the entire tap in my mouth and doesn't know where the beer comes out of
"Damn it Joey not the whole tap!" I lecture him while being held upside down. Eventually we get things sorted correctly and I do the most pathetically short keg stand of all time, then claim it's not my fault because I haven't done one in five years.
We return to the general party and eventually Joey leaves because he is driving and not drinking like a responsible young adult. I stick around with Semo and Chewy and continue to play 'asshole' with the girls. After we finish our game things start clearing out and I'm chilling on the couch talking to one of the girls, Sarah (name has been changed), who is rather plain looking but seems very down to earth and chilled out. I am not flirting with her and she is not flirting with me, though she is laughing at my jokes quite a lot. Semo tells me he needs to get out of here with her roommate Brittney, and so Chewy and I walk back to the apartment we're crashing at together in preparation for waking up at 8am for the Mifflin Street block party.
We're lying around watching sports and just shooting the shit. I believe it is the second time I've ever hung out with Chewy (not the poker playing one) and he is a very full on kind of guy who just says whatever the hell he feels like, a trait we share and point out that we appreciate in each other. I get set up on the couch and he gives me some pillows and blankets to get comfortable with. He's about to go bed and he blurts
"By the way if you need to jerk it I got some quality lube"
"Yea, might as well. Haven't in a couple days or something. Thanks for the offer"
I take the bottle and my laptop into the bathroom and fire up some porn. Suddenly my phone beeps and I look down at a text message from Semo that reads:
"Do you want to hook up with Sarah?"
I call him immediately and ask "Wait, what the fuck?"
"Yea man, she was saying she wants to hook up with you. Do you want me to give her your number and she'll text you?"
"Yea, fuck yea, I got nothing going on. Have her text me. Man that is so random, she didn't even flirt with me at all."
Thank God I checked my phone first.
About 10 minutes later I get a text from Sarah asking what I'm up to. I tell her just relaxing at Chewy's place but not feeling ready for sleep. She says it's too bad I didn't stay out longer. I say I can always come back out. She says I should. I say I will then, and then ask where to meet her. She tells me what bar to come to and I say I'll be there in no time.
I walk outside and am greeted by an enormous scene of fire trucks and flashing lights. Some moron in a white BMW has driven directly into the side wall of the building next to the apartment by the sidewalk I need to walk down. There are police all around and a crowd of people looking on. Good thing I didn't leave five minutes earlier, that's the second close call of the evening.
I walk over to the bar at closing time and find Sarah. I greet her with a hug and walk with her and a couple friends back to the apartment where the party was held, which I believe to be Sarah's place. We hang around drinking for a while and I am instructed to take a shot, which I do but not before I curse everyone out for making me do it. I notice Sarah sending some texts on her phone. About 20 minutes into our little gathering I get a call from Semo
"What the hell is wrong with you dude? Take her home and have sex with her already!"
I guess it's not her apartment.
About five minutes later I say "Well it's 3am and we need to be up at 8, I'm heading out. You coming?"
"Yea I'm coming she says"
We step out of the apartment and I turn to her and ask
"Did you text Semo or something?"
"No, why?"
"Ah nothing, he just called before. No worries."
We walk arm in arm back to her apartment, which eventually turns into her holding my hand. She takes me up to the apartment and we proceed to the bedroom. I sit down on the bed and say "Come here" and we start making out. Making out leads to clothing coming off, which leads to dry humping, which leads to difficulty getting an erection because I have had quite a bit to drink, which eventually leads to erection, which leads to difficulty getting the piece of shit condom Chewy gave me on, which leads to her procuring a better one, which finally leads to sex. I do my best to be good for her, though I'd guess between the alcohol and general exhaustion from being up since 8am I am nothing spectacular. She seems to be enjoying herself though.
When we finish I lay there completely spent for a minute, then ask if I can borrow a toothbrush. Dental hygiene is underrated. She tells me I can. I enter the bathroom and take a look down at myself; the condom has burst wide open. God fucking damn it. I brush my teeth and mouth wash thoroughly. I return to the room and let her know that the condom broke. She does not seem particularly concerned. She goes into the bathroom and it occurs to me that I can't seem to remember her name. I check my phone for the message Semo sent me. Ah yes, Sarah, that's right, her name is Sarah.
When we returns we lay around bed draped over each other chatting for a while so I can get to know her a bit
"You don't have to cuddle me if you don't want" she says
"Well I've got this weird spine thing where I can't lie on my side without something between my legs. So it's either your leg or a pillow. What do you prefer?"
"I like having my arms around something."
"Do you use a pillow too?"
"No I have a teddy bear."
"Ah, just consider me a much fatter version of a teddy bear then."
"Hehe, stop it you, you know you're thin."
I mostly chat to her about travel, where she's been and would like to go. I tell her about the various places I've been. We agree that a person should travel as much as they can. She seems like a nice girl. We lament the fact that it's 5am and Semo will be in the room waking us up at 8. Then we drift off into sleep.
Afterword: I have since spoken to Sarah to let her know that I was recently tested and came back clean and to ask whether she's on the pill. She confirmed that she's on birth control and also was recently tested. Then we agreed that either can booty call the other whenever we're around the same city.
Around the World in 150 Days, Day 24, A Foot and Two Minds
April 29th, Milwaukee: I wake up and look at the clock. It's slightly past 3pm. Man, jet lag can seriously go fuck itself. I throw on some shorts and go for a run around the neighborhood. I intend to use my month in Wisconsin to get back into working out very hardcore.
I return back to the apartment and take a shower. There's no food in the house so I pack up my computer and walk over to the nearby 'Subway' again. When I finish eating I go around the corner to the local coffee shop, set down my bag, and go to the counter to order a coffee. There's a very cute brunette sitting by herself near the counter studying. I'm standing around waiting for my drink to arrive and suddenly the brunette says to me
"Are you waiting to order?"
"Ah nah, already did. Would be rather rude of them if I were huh?"
"Oh my mistake, never mind then."
"No worries."
And then I draw a total blank and just stand there like a fucking moron waiting for my drink. The best looking girl in the place just started talking to me instead of the other way around, and I can't think of anything to say. What the hell is wrong with me? My drink comes up and I take it over to my seat. I should just slit my wrists right now.
I sit around the café for a couple hours working on my writing. I run into an old professor of mine and spend some time catching up with him. He is a nice guy despite the fact that once during class he'd asked he once asked if someone saw a play that'd been playing in Milwaukee to which I responded
"I did, God I hated it"
"He directed it" said another student with wide eyes in a hushed tone. Foot; meet mouth.
I call my friend Derek because we have plans to hang out today. He tells me to walk over towards his place and we'll meet half way. I pack up my things and start walking. We meet in front of a convenience store and buy two six packs of quality Wisconsin beer that I can't get in Australia.
We walk over to his place and crack open a couple beers inside his apartment. We've been playing fighting video games together since we were six, something we continue today with 'Street Fighter 4'. After a few matches he whips out a bag of weed and we fire that shit up. Then we just start talking.
We wind up sitting around his apartment just chatting for over an hour about the thoughts and views we've developed over the past few years. At one point he goes on a rant about how ridiculous the economic fallout is, how it's absurd that anyone trusted people with vastly greater knowledge in the industry to safely invest their money, that it'd be like trying to sit down at the poker table against someone like me as a recreational player. I immediately turn to the computer and show him the blog entry I wrote on the very same subject only a couple weeks ago. I can't decide if it's great minds that think alike or just stoned ones.
We go to a local restaurant for dinner. The food is fucking awesome. I tell him that it was a very good decision to go here. He agrees.
After dinner we hang out a little longer at his place, but he has to go to bed early because of work. I take the bus home. When I get there I go upstairs, fire up my computer, and try to finish some writing. It's only midnight but I feel very tired. I turn the computer off and lay down in bed. I am asleep almost instantly.
Around the World in 150 Days, Day 23, A Sleeping City
April 29th, Milwaukee: I wake up and look at the clock; it reads 3pm. Sounds about right. The apartment is empty as it seems both my friends are at work. I take a shower then sort through my bag for a shirt that isn't completely wrinkled from having been folded up in my suitcase for so long. I settle for a black one that I assume is too dark to see the wrinkles on without thorough inspection.
I walk over to a local 'Subway' for breakfast and get a sandwich. There are free copies of 'The Onion' near the entry. I grab one and spend my meal trying not to laugh too hard in the middle of the restaurant. I exit the shop and walk over to the bus station just as a bus pulls out of the stop. I ask the homeless guys chilling there if it was the one I need, and they confirm that it was. Then they return to their discussion of the song 'Tipsy', stating that in their day they got a whole hell of a lot more than tipsy in the club.
Eventually another bus comes by and I take the ride into the center of Milwaukee. I get out a block up from my destination; 'Uhle's' cigar shop on Wisconsin Street. When I walk into the store the girl behind the counter, Tamara, is thrilled to see me and gives me a big hug. We've known each other for years and even went on a few dates though things never fully clicked, though I suppose we had enough chemistry that she did agree to our first date during a phone call in which she coached me through vomiting into my toilet due to excessive alcohol consumption. Losing heavily at beer pong has its consequences, but that cemented her as one of the coolest chicks ever in my book.
I hang around the store smoking and catching up for a few hours then catch the same bus back to the North East side. I walk over to my friend Cagle's place and have a long chat to him about what we've been up to since we last saw each other two or three years ago. His long term girlfriend cheated on him with some guy 10 years her senior then wound up marrying him. We always told him that'd happen with her, he never listened.
At 7:30 my friend Caitlin picks us up to give us a ride to dinner with my old friend Derek, her boyfriend, riding shotgun with her. I've known Derek since I was six and Caitlin since middle school, though I haven't seen either in a year or two. It's hard to remember anymore. We meet our friend Erica at an Indian restaurant and spend dinner rehashing old stories and telling some new ones. I shout dinner in exchange for everyone buying me drinks at the bar we're going to afterwards.
When we finish dinner we head out to Brady Street to have drinks at a local lounge. I am convinced to take a shot. Then I have a beer. Then I am given another shot. Then I am given another beer. Then my friend Vera shows up, a girl I'd had a lot of chemistry with before I left Milwaukee but we got to know each other too late to see if anything could materialize. She had messaged during dinner to ask about having drinks and I told her to meet us out. When she shows up my friends say they need to leave as it is getting late
"I slipped them $20 to do that" I quip to Vera.
They leave and I am alone with Vera. She orders a mixed drink, I get another beer. She's the kind of clever and witty girl that is incredibly easy and fun to talk to, and I am flirting considerably, which she reciprocates. Then she mentions that she's dating someone, which I take as a way of telling me to cool it. I tell her my Adelaide tournament story, which afterward prompts her to tell me about how the guy she's dating has been a completely controlling psycho lately who assumed she had sex with some friend of hers, which she didn't, and that she questions whether she'll see him again when he returns from out of town. I take this as a sign to heat it.
She tells me a story about a work colleague who took her out for drinks and tried to make a move. I tell her that she should know that a man will almost never ask a woman out for a one on one encounter and have platonic intentions
"Well I messaged you tonight, and I have platonic intentions" she says
"Yes, but I have absolutely zero platonic intentions with you" I shoot back. She giggles and leans in closer. Our legs are touching.
I'm starting to feel a bit tipsy and suggest that I walk her home because I don't want to get drunk. The homeless guys would not approve. We exit the bar and I tell her to lock her arm into mine because I don't have the tolerance for cold I once did.
"It's a very long walk back to mine" she says
"Well I don't have anywhere to be and I'm enjoying the conversation"
"Okay, are you hungry? Do you want me to make you some food when we get there?"
"Yea I could eat"
"But you have to promise me you won't sleep over"
"I promise, besides, you look like a snorer. I'm not down with that. So what do you want your fake name to be when I write about you in my blog?"
"You're going to write about me?"
"I write about everything interesting that happens to me, and I consider you interesting, though only slightly."
"Hehe, call me Vera, I've always like that name."
"Vera it is."
She was not lying; it is a considerable walk back to hers. When we make it back she makes a joke that the security guard will think she's a huge slut because he's seen her walking in late at night with the guy she's dating recently. I love it when girls are self deprecating.
We take the elevator up to her apartment. Inside it has a great view overlooking West Milwaukee. I remark how dead it all looks at this hour. She heats me up a piece of chicken pizza and I tell her I'm also stealing the carrots out of her fridge. I finish my food and tell her to order me a cab. Before I go downstairs I say to her jokingly
"Call me next time you want to hang out as more than friends, cause this platonic shit doesn't work with you and me, cause ya know next time I'll make a move, you'll shoot me down, it'll be super awkward for everybody involved"
"How do you know? How do you know I'll shoot you down?"
"Well there's only one way to find out"
I step towards her, lean in, and kiss her. I do not get shot down.
"Relax, you feel rigid and nervous" she says
"Well maybe that's cause I've been waiting four years to kiss you"
"You've been waiting four years to kiss me huh?"
"Well I don't recall any previous opportunities"
We kiss hard for a moment then I pull back and add
"Actually I'm just nervous about my breath, what with the pizza and all." She giggles and we stand in her apartment kissing, overlooking half of Milwaukee, a city silent and asleep but for us.
"Okay, enough of your womanly tricks on me, I have a cab to catch."
I walk to the door; she follows me and gives me a hug. She smells perfect.
"So when are we gonna hang out again?" I ask
"Just call me before you leave town k?"
"I think that can be arranged."
I arrive in the lobby about 30 seconds before my cab does. I start talking to the driver. He asks how my night's going. I tell him it's been pretty good.
Around the World in 150 Days, Day 22, Homeward Bound
April 28th, Las Vegas: I awake feeling well rested and feeling ready to grind my 20 BB stack into something meaningful. I take a shower, throw on a suit, and run down to the convenience store for my standard breakfast; protein bar, meal replacement bar, and vitamin water. I make the quick walk over to the Caesars poker room and arrive comfortably early.
At my table I find 'Mlagoo', 'Bkice', and 'Allin@420' waiting for me
"How the fuck did this happen?" I ask when I see the lineup. Oh well, at least I have some aggressive players to shove over. Play begins at the 600/1200 with 100 ante level, and the table is playing pretty aggressively.
I blind off for an orbit, and then take down the blinds by open shoving mid pairs a couple times. Then I find KK and 'Allin@420' raises in front of me. I shove over the top and he folds, then says it'd be cool if I could show a deuce but he knows I'm actually a nit and can't. Damn him and his psychic accuracy. My stack has increased comfortably over 30,000 when I get involved in a big hand against Mlagoo:
My stack: ~33,000, Mlagoo: ~90,000, blinds 600/1200 with 100 ante. I hold Qd Qh UTG+2.
Preflop: UTG limps for 1200, UTG+1 folds, I raise to 4500 next to act, it folds to Mlagoo on the button who thinks for a bit then reraises to 11,500, it folds back to me, I go all in and Mlagoo calls instantly
"Yea, I was not happy about this spot" I say as I turn over my cards, as I know that given positions, stack sizes, and the UTG limp Matt knows I have a pretty tight range. He turns over his hand and reveals AA. Ah shit.
Flop: J 7 5 rainbow
I get up from the table and start walking towards Mlagoo to shake his hand.
Turn: Q
I start laughing and walking backwards towards my chair.
River: A
I start laughing and spin around, walk over to Mlagoo to shake his hand and wish him luck. If I'm going to bust I'm glad my chips can go to someone I like as much as Matt.
I walk back to my hotel room and start looking at flights to Milwaukee. I find one that leaves in about five hours that is direct and only costs $100. I book it and start packing my stuff. I'm chatting to the girl I met in the hot tub online and she kindly offers to give me a ride to the airport. I'm also chatting to Gobbo and suggest the two of us get lunch so I can give him the $64,000 in Bellagio chips sitting in my safe Shaundeeb wanted me to deliver to him. We decide to meet up with Augie at a Japanese place near his place for a mellow birthday celebration for Augie.
I check out of the hotel and meet the girl outside at the Bellagio. The car is parked behind Scotty Nguyen's sick ride, which I think is a Jaguar. The license plate reads 'NL Baby'. I don't think I want to be that close to him in traffic. We drive over to the Japanese place which it turns out offers a vast array of Asian options, including Korean BBQ, which I obviously snap call order. I tell Gobbo I have the chips for him and ask whether he has a bag he'd like me to put them in. He tells me he'll just put them in his pocket so I hand them over and he does.
After lunch we drive to the airport, park the car, and then find a restaurant to hang out in while we wait for my flight. I get a coffee, she gets a margarita. We discuss the upcoming WSOP and how I'll make her dinner next time I'm around town.
"Are you going to miss me?" she asks suggestively
"No" I deadpan
She's hung out with me long enough to know I'm messing with her and she laughs at me for about a solid minute
"Oh really?" she challenges
"Well, I might miss your presence a bit, but it won't be staying up at night crying into a pillow kinda missing you"
"Well obviously you fool" she teases back.
Eventually it reaches the point that my flight will be boarding soon so I kiss her goodbye and walk to the security check. It's an American airport, so off go the shoes, belt, and suit jacket. I board the plane and take out the 'Wolf on Wall Street'. I read it for about 20 minutes until I reach the end. That book was awesome. I set it down in my bag, lay my head back, and fall asleep almost instantly.
~
"Alright there folks, we are beginning our descent into Milwaukee" announces the pilot, jerking me out of my sleep. Damn did that nap work out well.
The plane lands in Milwaukee a few moments later and we disembark. I collect my luggage and grab a taxi over to the apartment of my friend Jenson, who is letting me stay at his place during the time I spend in Milwaukee. I drag my bags up the front steps then get in the elevator. It takes about eight minutes to go up three flights. I knock on his door and greet my we greet each other with mutual enormous enthusiasm.
We go have waffles at an all night food place near his apartment and do our best to catch each other up. Sometimes I really miss Milwaukee.
We walk back to the apartment and Jenson leaves me at the door to go sleep at his girlfriends place. He has essentially given me his place and room for however long I want during my stay since he spends every night at hers. Inside the apartment I fire up my computer and do some writing. It's not until 5:30am that I feel tired enough to try to get to bed. There is light coming in from the window over the bed. It makes it very hard to sleep.
Around the World in 150 Days, Day 21, The French Connection
April 27th, Las Vegas: In order to buy into the Caesar's $5,000 I've had to take one of the 5k Bellagio chips that Shaundeeb gave me via Charder to the cage. He gave me $69,000 in chips in total, $5,000 to use towards the event and $64,000 to give to Gobbo to hang on to. Naturally at the cage they give me some trouble about where I got the chip and who in the hell Christian Harder is (you people don't know who the fuck Charder30 is!?) They tell me to take it over to the poker room cage instead, where they wind up giving me far less trouble and quickly peel off a stack of $5,000 in cash and hand it over to me.
I walk over to the Caesar's poker room after having been delayed over 20 minutes by the chip exchange, making me 10 minutes late for the tournament. I buy in with my wad of Bellagio wrapped hundreds then find a seat on a table that appears to be a very soft line up. After watching a couple orbits I realize the French guy in seat four does not fold for any reason. No pair? No draw? No problem! Call! My first hand of relevance is against the French guy and another random old guy who is a huge aggression nit:
Effective stacks: ~25,000, blinds 25/50, I hold 8s6s in the SB.
Preflop: UTG folds, UTG+1 calls 25, the French guy in MP1 raises to 175, MP2 calls, folds to me in the SB, I call, BB calls, UTG calls.
Flop: Jc 7s 4d
Everyone checks.
Turn: 5s
I like that card only slightly. I bet out 625, the BB folds, UTG folds, MP1 calls, MP2 calls.
River: Td
I bet 1600, MP1 folds, MP2 min raises to 3200. I know I'm going to reraise, I'm just trying to think what to and what I do if he instantly crams or thinks for a bit and crams. I feel like with this guy I should be more worried about an instant cram, but really I think I should call anyway because he may be the type to over value his hand. I reraise to 7500 and he thinks for a bit and calls with a set of tens. Kind of wish I'd raised bigger now.
A single orbit later I get involved in another large pot, this time directly against the French station:
My stack: ~33,000, French guy: ~25,000, blinds 25/50, I hold 5c5d on the button.
Preflop: UTG folds, French guy raises to 200 UTG+1, MP1 folds, MP2 calls, folds to me on the button, I call, BB folds.
Flop: 8s 8c 5s
French guy bets 200, MP1 folds, I raise to 1000, French guy calls.
Turn: 2d
French guy checks, I bet 2500, French guy calls.
River: Kd
French guy checks, I bet 6000, and now the French guy sort of slaps the table is annoyance and makes a frustrated call. QQ I guess? I table my 55 and he shows his pair of aces and mucks. I can't believe he didn't stack off with the way he's playing; even if we are 500 BB's deep.
I find a small card rush and do quite a bit of preflop raising. The guy on my immediate left three bets me a number of times, but every time he does and we get to showdown or I fold he shows me some monstrous hand, so it seems he's just running hot. With this history we wind up getting involved:
My stack: ~40,000, UTG+1: ~40,000, blinds 50/100, I hold AsKd UTG.
Preflop: I raise to 300, UTG+1 reraises to 800, it folds back to me, I call. I think folding isn't absurd here, because his reraise range his like TT+/AK, but we're also 40,000 deep and I have AK which last I checked is the nizzles, so we're seeing the flop.
Flop: Kc 4c Js
I check, UTG+1 bets 1000, I call.
Turn: 7h
I check, UTG+1 bets 2000. I call, but when I think about his range that double barrels here with the preflop 3-bet I'm pretty confident I should actually be folding.
River: Ah
I check, UTG+1 quickly bets 5000. Now I go into the tank, and when I think about it I'm really just calling for a chop here. QQ and TT don't triple barrel here from a guy like this, and I'm losing to AA/KK/JJ and in a tie with AK. He didn't even have to think about his river bet, and he's had it every time. I groan a bit and fold, then he flashes me AKo and I feel dumb for not just folding the turn.
I continue to beat up my table for a bit throughout the level, but unfortunately for me the table is broken and I'm moved to a much worse seat. The table has Danny Wong on my right, Scott 'Mastr' Seiver on my left, and Todd Terry a few seats over on my left, plus another young online guy across the table. I'm hopeful that at least Scott will spend his time entertaining me with his hilarious Seth Roganesqueness. Unfortunately he soon pops in his Ipod headphones and starts owning fools instead.
Not long after I arrive I find myself in a large pot with Todd Terry:
My stack: ~35,000, Todd Terry: ~30,000, blinds 100/200, I hold JdJh on the button.
Preflop: Todd raises to 500 UTG, folds to me on the button, I call, SB folds, BB calls.
Flop: 2s Ts Jc
BB checks, Todd checks, I bet 1125, BB folds, Todd calls.
Turn: Kd
Todd checks, I bet 2900, Todd thinks briefly and calls.
River: 5c
Todd checks, I think about my bet size for a while then fire 7000, Todd goes into the tank and folds. He says he had AsKs.
Then for a very, very long time nothing happens. I go massively card dead and with a slew of good players on my left rarely bother to get particularly out of line. Level after level passes without the slightest eventful hand, and after several hours of play on my table of boredom I finally get moved to one with a softer line up, though there is still 'BKice' and 'Sketchy1' on my left, but not immediate. Near the end of the day I get involved in a hand with a straight forward middle aged Asian guy:
My stack: ~33,000, Asian guy: ~50,000, blinds 400/800 with 100 ante. I hold 9s9d in the BB.
Preflop: Folds around to the HJ, HJ raises to 3500, folds to me in the BB, I flat call because 3 betting against this type of player with nines here is definitely a bluff, though a go and go isn't crazy, but I prefer that with unpaired hands and I expect this guy to play pretty straight forward post flop so I like the call.
Flop: T 6 3 rainbow
I check, the HJ bets 5000, I call.
Turn: J
I check, the HJ checks.
River: K
Bleeeeegh. I check, the HJ thinks briefly and bets 8000. I smirk at Sketchy and say "Perfect turn/river for 99 huh?" and fold
"That's exactly what I thought you had" he says.
After that I spend the rest of my day folding, and when things draw to a close I find myself with 25,700 in chips, meaning over the course of my 10 hour day I've managed to increase my stack at less than 100 chips per hour.
After the tournament finishes a friend and I go over to Panorama and meet up with some other friends. Naturally we smoke up and take a dip in the hot tub and discuss our respective days of poker. Then we go to order food, but it turns out in Vegas your delivery options after midnight are surprisingly few. I always figured Vegas and New York City would be the two places that you'd have an infinite amount of options when it comes to late night delivery, but apparently that's only true of one of them. How annoying.
Around the World in 150 Days, Day 20, Man of Leisure
April 26th, Las Vegas: I've gotten way behind in my writing so I've decided to sit out by the Bellagio pool all day to simultaneously work on my blog and my tan. On my way down from the room I stop off at the convenience store and purchase a tin of small cigars and a vitamin water, just the resources needed to be a proper man of leisure.
I grab two towels, find a chair in the sun, then lay out and fire up my computer. The sun is so bright that it's practically impossible to see the cursor on the screen, so once I fire up Microsoft Word I try and not click off the program because I know it'll take me forever to find the arrow again. Naturally I am also spending a fair amount of time scoping the hot chicks at the pool, but given that I have dinner plans and am leaving immediately after I bust (or win) the Caesars $5,000 I won't bother talking to any.
I take a break between my writing to go for a swim then lounge around in the hot tub for a while. I feel slightly out of place being alone, but really it's too nice a day to not get in the water. That and I want to give myself an excuse to stop working for a while.
When I return to my chair I lit up a cigar. I realize now that this makes writing difficult, because either I have the cigar in one of my hands and it's no longer available to type, or it's in my mouth and the smoke trickles up to my eyes, messing with my concentration. None of this stops me from smoking.
When I finish my work I head over to the apartment of the girl I've been hanging out with an hour before I said I'd show up. I ask her if it's cool if I use the gym and she suggests we play racquetball, which I am all the fuck about. We go downstairs and I thrash her for a few games despite trying to take it easy on her. She eventually tires of losing and decides to go upstairs to start working on the food. I tell her I'll meet her up there because I want to practice for a while and run around. I play against myself until I feel appropriately drenched in sweat, then return to the apartment and ask to use the shower.
After drying off and getting changed I chill out on the couch and watch 'How I Met Your Mother' while she finishes making the food. She offers me a drink, I go with beer. She sets dinner out on a table with two scented candles on it. I feel like those are the kind of things that'd you'd never think would give you cancer but do. She's made a spicy Salmon with vegetables dish, and it is fucking awesome. I tell her that the biggest compliment I can give her about the cooking is being too busy shoveling it in my mouth to give a compliment. Then I keep shoveling.
I help her put the dishes away after dinner. Then we hang out on the couch with a bottle of wine watching the drunken, suit wearing antics of Barney for a while. I dig his style.
Around the World in 150 Days, Day 19, Saturday Night Fever
April 25th, Las Vegas: About 50 feet away from the Caesars poker room I realize I'm $200 short to buy into their $2,000 event today. When I walk into the room I see Matt Stout and ask him if he doesn't mind loaning me $200 for a day or so and that I'll happily send him online collateral money. He's very cool about it and just says to give it back to him in cash whenever I see him next. I head up to the cage and buy in to the event that starts us with 15,000 in chips and begins with 25/50 blinds and hour long levels, a very good structure for a 2k.
My table is mostly unknowns with the exceptions of the always polite Harry Demetriou and gregarious Will 'The Thrill'. I spend the 25/50 level trying to see cheap flops while we're 300 BB's deep with hands that can flop well, but mostly blank off and only win a few small pots. It's not until the 50/100 level that I get involved in my first considerable pot, which is against Harry who has a fairly tight image:
Effective stacks: ~15,000, blinds 50/100, I hold AKo on the CO.
Preflop: Folds to Harry in MP1, Harry raises to 300, folds to me on the CO, I call, the rest fold.
Flop: Kc Jc Ts
Harry bets 500, I call.
Turn: 4d
Harry bets 1000, I call.
River: 8s
Harry checks, I check. Harry tables Q9o and I muck. His check looks strange, but when I think it over it may very well be the best play against me. None of my one pair hands call a bet, my two pair hands value bet for him anyway, and he gives me a chance to bluff if I have a missed draw.
As the level goes on Will 'The Thrill' loses a major pot then starts getting bored and announces to the table "I'm going all in blind next hand! No matta what!"
"You serious over there Will?" I ask
"You know me kid, whattya think?"
"Heh, I think you'll do it."
Will is sitting a few seats on my left and is in the BB this hand. He stacks up his chips and sets them right behind the betting line, waiting to cram on anyone who dares raise. When I get my cards I peek down at KTo on the cutoff and when it folds to me I raise it up to 300. The button and SB fold and just as promised Will crams his stack in without looking. I instantly call and he flips his cards over one at a time to reveal Q6o.
Flop: A J A
Turn: 4
River: 2
"Good luck everyone!" he says smiling then walks away from the table with a laugh. That's pretty fucking balla move if you ask me.
I stay quiet for the rest of the 50/100 level and don't find myself involved again until after the break:
My stack: ~17,000, HJ: ~16,000, Button: ~20,000, blinds 100/200. I hold As6s in the SB.
Preflop: Folds to the HJ, HJ min raises to 400 and from what I've seen he's been doing this with weaker holdings, the CO folds, the button calls, I call (I don't call unless it's a min raise or if it's a known professional), the BB folds.
Flop: 9s 7h 2s
I check, the HJ bets 750, button folds, I call.
Turn: 5d
I lead out 1600, the HJ calls.
River: Ad
I think it over then bet 2200 and the HJ makes a very frustrated looking call. I table my hand and he shakes his head then mucks.
One unfortunate part of the structure at both Caesars and the Bellagio is that there's no 150/300 level despite there being two levels of 100/200, one with ante and one without. The 100/200 level with ante is very quiet for me, and I don't get involved again until it's 200/400. The opponent in the hand is an older guy of perhaps 70, who seems very weak and straight forward:
My stack: ~19,000, UTG: ~17,000, blinds 200/400 with a 50 ante. I hold QdTd on the CO. We are seven handed.
Preflop: UTG calls 400, folds to me on the CO, I raise to 1600, folds back to UTG, UTG calls.
Flop: 8s 5d 2d
UTG checks, I bet 2200, UTG check raises to 5000. With his showing aggression I think there's basically no chance I get him to fold anything, and even though he limps a fair bit his line of limp/calling UTG then check tiny raising the flop seems like it could contain big pairs not to mention sets. I elect to just call.
Turn: 9s
UTG fires out 4000, and given that I have 12 clean outs and am getting over 4 to 1 immediate plus the implied I'm stuck calling.
River: As
UTG looks absolutely terrified of this card and immediately checks. He has 11,000 of a 17,000 starting stack in the pot. He couldn't possibly fold could he? Christ he looked scared of that card though. I want to find out the hard way. I quickly cram my stack into the middle and UTG looks terrified and thinks for a while before folding.
"I had pocket queens" he says
An aggressive Russian kid two on my right glances over at me and gives a knowing look. I smile ever so slightly back at him. Spazzy internet kids have no language barrier.
A couple orbits later I raise AA in late position to 1050 and a woman with 5500 on the CO shoves pre. The button and blinds fold and I naturally snap call and hold up against her KJo when the board runs out 6 T J A 7.
I stay quiet for the rest of the level outside the occasional blind steal and don't get involved again until the 300/600 level:
My stack: ~45,000, UTG: ~20,000, MP1: ~15,000, BB: ~35,000, blinds 300/600 with a 75 ante. I hold 6h4h on the button.
Preflop: UTG raises to 1500, folds to MP1, MP1 calls, folds to me on the button, I notice the BB has already grabbed chips with which to make the call so I call as well, the SB folds, the BB calls.
Flop: 2d 8d 5s
Everyone checks to me and the BB and UTG are very straight forward players so I fire out 3600. The BB and UTG quickly fold but then MP1 shoves for 13,500 total. There's nearly 7000 in the pot preflop, plus my 3600, plus his 13,500 which makes for roughly 24,000 in the pot and less than 10,000 to call, so I make the call and he tables 4s4d giving me a sort of clean 12 outs to win, assuming the turn isn't a diamond.
Turn: Jd
Man fuck you turn card.
River: Ad
My stack slips slightly below 30,000 and we go on dinner break shortly afterwards.
'Charder' is at the final table of the WPT $25,000 event today so after quickly grabbing a sandwich I walk all the way down the Bellagio to see how it's going for him. When I arrive I find out he's just busted out in fourth place and my friend 'Atimos' is now heads up against some random fish that folded KK to 'Charder' preflop 25 BB's effective (for those of you who aren't big on poker; this basically means the guy has absofuckinglutely zero idea of what he's doing.) 'Atimos' is wearing a very slick looking dark suit, which I pay him a compliment on, though I make sure to barrage him with an avalanche of profanities first for having stolen my moves, but mostly I'm just jealous that his suit is nicer than mine. I find 'Luckychewy' in the stands and he is quite drunk and cracking me up.
Eventually I run back over to Caesars and make it back 30 seconds before play starts up again. We restart at the 400/800 level and I wind up being incredibly card dead for the entire level. I have zero legitimate hands, and when I try to make a position open some nit comes alive with a huge reraise and blows me out. My stack slowly but consistently dwindles down, and by the time the blinds go up to 600/1200 my stack has bled into the teens.
Hand after hand I peek down at garbage and there is a raise in front of me. I find one spot to cram over an aggressive player and he folds, but other than that I am so dead I'm basically useless. My stack has dropped to 12,000 when I peek down at K6o on the button and shove when it folds to me. The SB fairly quickly calls and the BB folds. The SB tables A6o
"Awwwww crap, that's not good" I say.
Flop: Q J 2
Turn: 5
River: 4
"Good hand, best of luck guys." I tap the table, button my jacket (top button on a two button only people), and walk away. I take out my phone and call 'Luckychewy' to see where he's at and he says I should come over to 'McFaddens' at the Rio. I call the girl I've been hanging out with and she says she's tired and going to just relax with some room service at the Bellagio.
I arrive at McFaddens and find a group that includes Shaundeeb, Mlagoo, Lacey Jones, Maria Ho, Maria's friend, Etay, Deebs brother Billy, Billy's friend, Luckychewy, and Joy Miller (there was probably others, but I got drunk enough that it's blurry.)
Chewy and I start slamming screwdrivers and scoping the place. There are numerous bridal parties in the room, so I tell Chewy to come with me and I walk up to one of them and say to the bride
"Oh congratulations! How did he propose?"
I ask her a number of questions about it all while Chewy starts chatting to the bridesmaids. After I get in good with the bride I ask her to identify which of the girls in the party are single for us to chat up. She lets us know and we hang out for a bit then return to our table for drinks. When doing bar scene stuff I do this kind of thing a lot, I chat up groups without blatantly hitting on anyone and just be fun and social, then perhaps come back to them later in the night, sort of like planting seeds all over the bar.
After we drink for a bit Chewy claims that he can dance at least 10 times better than me. He goes out onto the dance floor and starts tearing that shit up. Naturally I join him and together do our best not to look like two drunken white idiots (pretty confident we failed.) After we finish and return to our table a group of girls from another bridal party all hit the dance floor and start going nuts. Etay starts giving us shit about how the second we leave the girls all go out there. When the song finishes the girls go back to their table so I go up and ask them
"Okay quick question, was it just a coincidence you guys all hit the floor when me and my friend left or are we just the worst dancers ever?"
"No not at all, we just love that song!" says one of them
"Come on let's go right now!" says another and three girls take me out onto the floor and we all start dancing together, including the roughly 50 year old mother of the bride, who can really grind her ass off for a woman of her age (back me up Mlagoo.)
When the song finishes I thank the girls for the dance and tell them I'll come to chat a bit later. I go back to Chewy and we keep drinking. As I'm walking off to the bathroom the mother of the bride runs up to me and asks
"Where are you going?!"
"Um...the bathroom?"
"OK well when you get back I need you to do me a favor. You need to get on stage with the bride to be and search her body for a coupon."
"I can assure you I'm the right man for this job."
When we get back from the bathroom the bride's mother comes and grabs me and brings me on stage with the bride and a few of the other girls. The DJ starts announcing what's going on and I lean into the bride and say
"Just tell me what's appropriate here."
"K, just peel up clothing and look around a bit, the coupon is in my bra."
"Gotchya."
When it starts I immediately drop to the floor and pretend to look up her skirt, then I stand back up and start looking her up and down and slightly peeling up bits of clothing in my search. Eventually I turn my attention to the front of her dress and peek down towards her cleavage, making sure to not actually grope her. She directs my hand to the coupon and I rip it out and yell "YEEEEEEEEEA!!" and start fist pumping. Then the DJ turns on the music and a bunch of the guys come over and we all tear up the dance floor together. Chewy wasn't lying, he's a good ass dancer.
At some point I realize I'm starting to get too drunk so Chewy and I go back to Panorama towers. Eventually other members of the group trickle in and we meet up with other residents of the building to all go out to the hot tub and pass around a large blunt while discussing the amusing evening we've had. I tell them they should make sure to enjoy shit like this, that one day we'll all be looking back with envy at the days we were in our 20's and could get torn up in a hot tub with no consequences, that it won't be like this in our 70's. They tell me this is exactly what they plan to do in their 70's, that there isn't much else to do.
"Good fucking point."