The Story of the 2010 Doyle Brunson Beer Pong Classic
Authors Note: I wrote this one a while ago, but it got stuck on the computer with no internet and nobody has any removable memory. This day was pretty much the end of my three month diet and abstaining from alcohol. I’d also like to take this opportunity to call out a heads up beer pong match between Leo Murphy and Wretchy, that shit needs to go down.
May 27th, 2010: I am surrounded by the kind of filth that only a pack of 20 something degens with no legitimate responsibilities in life can make. There are bottles everywhere, God knows how many red disposable cups, dozens of cans, fast food wrappers, an empty milk carton, no chairs in the kitchen, a bubbler and piece (which I am making simultaneous use of to alleviate the hangover), a fold up beer pong table, three people on the couches and two beer pong trophies, both already broken in some capacity. Additionally, I have just been handed half a weed cup cake, my first consumption of the morning. Yesterday was definitely the kind of day worth breaking the no drinking rule, and assuredly the kind where you wind up paying for doing so.
I began my day with kempo. I was up at the crack of dawn; also known as 12:15pm around here. We did an entire day of practice falling over and tucking your head up into your chest so you don’t slam your head and are still capable of fighting from the ground or getting back up. I told my instructor about my upcoming beer pong tournament that day and he said maybe this was something I’d need by the end of the day. He didn’t know it at the time, but kempo instructor David Williams had made a good read.
We were out the door at 1:30pm, driving to the North side of the strip in a car that had a roughly zero percent chance of being driven home by anyone in the car. The 3rd Annual Doyle Brunson Beer Pong Classic was being held at Hogs and Heifers, a downtown Las Vegas bar that was packed with people by the time we arrived. Everyone began drinking immediately and with much enthusiasm and consistency. Having been almost entirely sober for some time I decided to pace myself starting my day with only one jagerbomb as opposed to the many of Chewy and Dan. I’d drafted my buddy Leo Murphy as a last minute replacement when my partner to be Randal Flowers had to drop out due to transportation issues getting in to Vegas. We’d played the previous night for some practice and I found out that Leo Murphy is apparently the ultimate beer pong ringer. I like to think I throw a respectable game of beer pong with my Wisconsin heritage, but this man from Ohio can throw a damn ping pong ball in a cup like a laser guided missile.
Tons of great guys and girls were out for it, and everyone was clowning around while getting wasted. I think it’s a real fun event for a poker room to organize, and for the first time today I was introduced to Doyle Brunson through my friend Lara Miller. I’d never run into him on the table, and I said no particularly relevant words upon our meeting. As a writer, I have a lot of respect for his work on Supersystem and his often clever blog plus I think it’s pretty cool he’ll still come out and get drunk in the afternoon with the kids at his age. With the WSOP only days away many people are already in town checking into their houses and hotels so there were plenty of people to catch up with. We all milled about drinking and chatting until a woman with a megaphone started screaming the rules at us then announced that it was game time.
We had a pretty quick victory in the first round, then an ultra close second match against Todd Brunson and Brett Jungblut with much playful trash talking. The third match was by far the most important of the tournament; a heads up match against house mates Luckychewy and KingDan. There was a flurry of betting going on, and by the time the dust settled I had $1250 riding on it myself, with the potential to win $1000. Dan was raging drunk at this stage, as he had taken several shots between rounds in the tournament, and Chewy wasn’t holding up that much better. Meanwhile, Leo and I had paced ourselves, and blew them the fuck out within minutes. We had a pretty close semi final match, but made it through to the finals against my friends Shawn Green and Mandy Baker. I started out hot but by the end of the game I was bricking everything and flat out whiffing the last cup. It didn’t matter though, because Leo was an unstoppable force and drained the last cup multiple times even after they came back with two rebuttles. When we finally won Leo picked me up and I started yelling all kinds of random shit and high-fiving anyone in my proximity. On top of our championship trophy, I managed to win the “Best shit talker” trophy by making many absurd claims throughout the day, such as telling my opponents in an interview that “I will eat your fucking children!” Upon being awarded the trophy I requested the megaphone from the woman on the bar and yelled into it “AND I WANNA TELL MY PUNK ASS OPPONENTS THAT YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF BITCHES, MOTHER FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKERS!!!” I believe that was it, but I’m sure the video has it more accurately: http://www.bluffmagazine.com/videos/video.asp?vid=38
Things are slightly blurry after the win. I recall we mostly hung around drinking for a while, and that I must have done more fist pounds, high-fives, and nubs throughout the afternoon than any prior in my life. Dom didn’t drink and wound up driving us home, where there was more beer waiting, not to mention the pipe. We continued getting ripped and made plans to go out to Lavo in a big group that night. I’d left my new dark suit in the front of the house and while sprinting barefoot at full speed to retrieve it (because, of course I should sprint in the house) I slipped on a bunch of liquid Dan had spilled and completely upended, coming crashing down on the floor a second later. I slammed my ass and it hurt a ton, but what I didn’t do was hit my head because I’d had it instinctually tucked into my chest. I lay on the floor for quite some time, unable to move. When I finally got up I was hobbling, and had difficulty moving around the rest of the night. It still has me limping.
When we got into the strip we wound up in line for our table at Lavo. By the time we got inside an entire days drinking was really catching up to me and I felt exhausted. When they sat us I just posted up on the wall and started dozing off in the middle of the blaring club. Dan was equally wasted, and we soon made plans to depart. I’m pretty confident we took a cab home, though I’ll have to consult Dan to make sure; I merely remember that neither of us drove.
I was actually up for a few hours once I got home, and I seem to recall playing some Nintendo Wii. I woke up a few hours after falling asleep, and remembered the hard way that there are some reasons why it’s nice to rarely drink besides a diet. I’ve found this morning that Pokernews has done a fun article and video about the day, which can be seen here: http://www.pokernews.com/news/2010/05/tony-dunst-dominates-day-of-trash-talking-drinking-at-doyle-8359.htm and numerous other sites put up video for it:
http://www.bluffmagazine.com/videos/video.asp?vid=25
http://www.cardplayer.com/cptv/channels/10-lifestyle/poker-videos/4154-2010-brunson-beer-pong-challenge
They catch me yelling about eating peoples children in the interview, and at the end Leo and I are clearly both raving drunk and talking all kinds of shit, my favorite line being when Leo says we’re “Proud to have this established achievement.” In post victory interviews I stated that “This is the single greatest moment in my life…everything else was just leading up to this.” Clearly, having won the first tournament of the summer I now feel like a huge favorite to continue in dominating form for the remainder, and can confidently say I’m the favorite to win the WSOP main event. Ivey might be Ivey, but he doesn’t have two fucking beer pong trophies, does he?