Seems like the right time for one of these
If you read poker blogs I'm sure you've read about 100 of these posts, maybe even one by me before. But I'm at that point that all MTT players get to where I start re-evaluating my life in general due to a downswing I've gone on. I did just win the UB 1k not too too long ago so this isn't totally about always losing, because thats not the case but more so me trying to figure out if:
A) I still really love playing full time
B) I can continue to try to claw my way through MTTs full time
C) I'm just burned out and need some time off
I'm not sure exactly which of these factors is causing my general apathy lately and to be honest its likely a combination of all 3. I think the main thing that a lot of pro's fear when they think about life outside of poker is working for less money. Very few successful players can look into an endeavor which could net them anywhere close to what we make inside of poker. So its tough to make that jump and leave a game and the lifestyle that has lead many of us to devalue sums of money that would make an extraordinary difference to Joe Schmo. This is even more true in hard times economically like we find ourselves in now. For months now, through the wins and losses I have pinpointed July as a serious crossroads for me as a professional poker player. The WSOP will conclude and I will likely either move to part-time to try to reach for other professional goals (real estate development programs? real estate license? serving burgers at McDonald's?) or I will committ to grinding at least another year as a professional poker. I have zero plans to leave the game all together and how much my volume would be effected by starting school or a licensing program I'm not even sure but it would definitely take up some of the time in my life which is devoted to poker at the moment. I find myself in this strange position in life where I am generally apathetic to most of the things that happen around me and I think this might be caused, at least partially from playing full time and not having other hobbies to fall back on besides golf or going out on the weekends. Do I think some structure would help? I go in and out of that too, I sometimes sit and think about how having some structure would be nice. Then I realize that I am daydreaming about this at 2pm on a 90 degree day before I'm going to a Red Sox game while my friends are working. If that isn't the definition of the grass always being greener I don't know what is. In the end, I just find myself sitting here pondering the following on this lovely Monday:
-If I can beat the games nowadays for a significant ROI to continue
-WTF happened to my game in the past 2-3 weeks (it legit might have to do with all the new god damn turbos that are out there that I have been playing, lost patience)
-What I can do to fix said shitty playing
-What I would do if I stopped playing profressionally tomorrow
-Can the Celtics beat the Magic tomorrow night
-Can the B's beat the 'Canes tomorrow night
-Why the shit couldn't my KK hold vs. AJ in the FTOPS 1k and not tilt the shit out of me and induce this post
Oh, and as always... follow my Twitter before the WSOP. I'm pimping it before I leave and have a friendly wager with a friend about the number of people I could get. I'll try to post funny pics and rambles from Vegas as well. Go go go.
http://www.twitter.com/jurollo