Any poker player who goes from being nicknamed “The Donkey” to becoming the WSOP Player of the Year is entitled to at least a little bit of my respect.

Until he opens his mouth, that is.

What a shame, because Tom Schneider had my attention there for a minute. And he had an opportunity to add some valuable insight to the poker community with his “regular guy to poker champion” story that could have given readers some insight into his background in business, his work ethic, and how it all came together for him at the poker table.

Instead, arrogance, elitism and sexism a plenty are the consistent threads of “Oops I Won Too Much Money,” Schneider’s misguided attempt at an autobiographical business/poker book. After reading this nonsense, my first thought was “Oops … I just wasted three hours of my life that I will never get back.”

I guess I should have known better after watching a recent poker broadcast in which the author was seen wearing a baseball cap with a logo that bears his book’s title. You don’t see David Sklansky walking around with a hat stamped with a “Theory of Poker” logo on it. Schneider seems to have no clear goal in mind with this book other than to stroke his ego; once you’ve wasted your time reading it, the temptation is to tell him to go stroke something else.

Make no mistake, Schneider is a smart man who obviously did not achieve success by accident. If you don’t believe me, just ask him. Or just read one page of the “Oops” farce. The problem is, he wastes the time and money of poker enthusiasts who pick up these books hoping to find nuggets of inspiration, advice or tips on how to achieve success. You end up thinking he must have hired someone to type it, because there’s a real good chance he broke his arm patting himself on the back.

“Oops” is filled with potshots against the unemployed, the less fortunate financially, women, and all humans whom Schneider find to be of inferior intelligence to himself. Which, basically, is everyone.

For example, in one chapter he states, “If there is one thing I would like women to learn from this book, it’s not complain about your weight or looks to your fat, ugly friends.” While this statement might be worth a couple of cheap chuckles, what is he really trying to say? Eventually, the conclusion is that you should keep your problems in perspective, but the author could have said this without implying that all attractive women must have unattractive friends. He also states that divorce “is a terrible thing,” but that it should not interfere with what’s really important which, in his view, is making as much money as possible before you die.

Just when you start to think “Oops” has no redeeming value – which is pretty much from the first page onward – Schneider appears to reverse course near the end when he pens a chapter about the importance of generosity. But his example rings hollow. The author recalls a story in which his father’s best friend once handed a $100 bill to a young man in front of a convenience store who was clearly down on his luck. However, Schneider can’t come up with an anecdote that suggests HE has ever been generous to anyone.

Looking for bright spots, “Oops” does feature quick and easy-to-read chapters so, if you are annoyed by any of it, at least you know it will be over soon. And a couple of his tips would be useful in the business world, such as carefully considering with whom you do business and the subsequent deals that might be made. But overall, “Oops” has too many shortcomings to be considered worthwhile.

Which is too bad because, truth be told, I wanted to like this book. Schneider made his debut on the national poker scene by reaching the final table of a WPT event at the Reno Hilton a couple of years ago. During the broadcast, commentator Vince Van Patten gleefully explained that fellow players gave Schneider the nickname “The Donkey,” and, for reasons unknown, the Arizona businessman didn’t seem to mind. Of course, Van Patten never missed a chance to use the moniker whenever Schneider was in a hand, and the player’s seemingly laid-back demeanor about the whole thing gave you cause to root for him. He eventually busted out third.

Schneider appeared to be one of the countless solid amateur players who makes one televised final table and is never heard from again. But he took the poker world by surprise this summer by winning two WSOP events and finishing fourth in another to earn the coveted Player of the Year honor.

So at least he’s got that going for him. Unfortunately, his foray into book writing was not a similar smash success.