As a poker player, you know that it is not just about finding the best poker bonuses or best tournaments online. There is much more to the poker world beyond poker rules, poker strategy, and freerolls.

There are groups of poker products that claim to help improve your play by giving you some degree of an edge. I'm not talking about poker training sites or something that actually adds value.

(With the Holiday Season over, you're probably upset that you didn't get the poker gift you had really wanted. Sure, transfers to your poker room account are always appreciated but it's not like your girlfriend or Mom will be doing that.)

I'm talking about the silly, the random, the insane poker products. The lame ones that make you ask: Who thought of this? Who approved it? Why was this idea not stopped before they actually made that thing?

Here are some of my favorites:

For those of you who may find the keyboard too challenging when playing poker, there is a product for you.

They call it the Pokermouse. This device will no doubt increase your profitability and comfort while playing online poker. It claims to "liberate" you from your keyboard. But it may not "liberate" you from the teasing and mockery from your friends. Or your pets.

Ho Ho Hold'em Card Cover

Have you ever had an overzealous dealer take your hand from you? If so, there is finally a product for you: Ho Ho Hold'em Card Cover . It prevents a dealer from mucking your hand by protecting your cards with Santa. I object less to the use of Santa but to fact that it was the Grinch or someone more menacing in the Christmas spirit.

Why not combine this with a poker spell for extra protection?

Casting Poker Spells

Why rely on strategy, tells, or luck when you can focus your time and money on spells? That's right, you can now gain an advantage against your opponents by casting spells. I'm assuming that results are not guaranteed.

Poker "Artwork"

Nothing says class like art. And nothing says art like a topless woman playing poker. It's listed for sale so hurry before someone gets it!

High Heels

Keeping with this theme, why not get a little something for the Vegas stripper in your life? These high heels have all you need except the cards. I don't want to know where they are.

Dark Vader Glasses

Everyone has seen these types of glasses on TV. I'm sure you have seen Greg Raymer's lizard glasses. But these "Dark Vader" glasses claim to provide "maximum protection". They don't say who they protect you from but I'm guessing it's from the Rebel Alliance.

Sexy Poker Wii

Sexy Poker

This Wii game provides a way to improve your poker game by allowing you to test your various poker strategies against an anime girl. (I'm pretty sure this is how Phil Ivey honed his poker skills.) I guess we can be grateful that they chose a scantily glad girl and not say... Doyle Bronson. I'm not saying that Doyle would not provide the same amount of titillation, just in a different way. For all you horny teenagers who get off on this stuff, have at it. And remember, if your hands or wrist gets tired, you could always use the Pokermouse.

Garden Gnomes

Do you need a little something to jazz up your backyard? These poker playing gnomes will make you the envy of your neighborhood. In case you were wondering, they do have names. Elderberry and Cranston. I'm not sure which is which one is which but do know that one of them is cheating. I'm guessing it's Elderberry. You can never trust an "Elderberry".

Poker Knife

This knife will show your opponents that you mean business. It will also show your opponent that you think it's cool to carry such a dorky knife. As a bonus, it will probably get you strip searched if you try to board a plane with it.

Poker Table Mousepad

This mousepad will transport you to the thrill of live action poker. Cocktail waitresses and autographs are not included.

What do you think? Did I miss something important? Post in the comments and let me know.