Gentleman, are attractive female players “playing” you?
It is clear that poker players try many psychological ploys to gain the advantage at the tables. From goofy sunglasses to cold, intimidating stare-downs, players will try anything to get the reaction that they want from their opponents. The women playing at your tables may know how to get the best reactions, as we at Top Pair interviewed several beautiful female players (tough job, we know) to uncover their efforts to use a combination of sexiness and savvy to extract our chips. These aren’t always simple and straightforward tricks, guys. In fact, the ladies that we spoke with have their “plays” down to a measured science. When they combine their mastery of the manipulation of the man’s mind with their high level of poker skill, these girls rake in consistently sizable profits.
Tactic 1: The Blatant, Sexy Distraction
Think of this first tactic as the framework from which most others are built. Although it is obvious, it is almost always effective because sex sells. In fact, every woman that we spoke with included sexy and alluring attire and looks as a main weapon. “I wear a small sized t-shirt that says I’m All-In across the chest,” smirked Melissa Evern, a regular at the $4-8 tables in Las Vegas. While most of the men at poker tables often suffer from a scruffy five-o’clock shadow and ratty clothes, these beauties light up the cardroom with a wide smile and loads of energy. “I know who my marks are before I even sit down,” explained Courtney Getts, a receptionist at a large Vegas business and medium-limit poker player. “I watch the way they look at me as I come in to sit down. If they have a certain spark in their eye, I know they will be easiest to clean-out.” It doesn’t stop at the physical looks, either. The girls explained how they are intentionally chatty and flirtatious to keep the men at the table off of their game. “When they focus on me in that way, “ Melissa says, “they don’t pick up on playing style. They don’t watch the hands closely. They just kinda lose track of the game. It makes it easy, because they play softer and just play their cards.” Owen D. from Vancouver was man enough to admit to being played by a beautiful woman. “She flirted her way to 5 or 6 pots,” he said. “It was just not worth taking the smile off of her face…”
Tactic 2: The Damsel in Distress & Guilt Trip
“I love when they underestimate me. That is what I’m going for,” is what one woman told us. They often get us to do this by acting as if they are novices. In meek and insecure tones, they’ll ask simplistic questions about the appropriate amount for raises and calls, pretend they are unclear when it is their turn to act, and always display a look of surprise when they win a pot. Without fail, a couple of guys will swoop in to be the “hero” of the day, instructing and guiding the lady. Because other players view them as an outmatched rookie, the women say that guys often feel guilty when they beat them for a pot. “It is funny how guys always apologize when they beat me. They never apologize to another guy for beating them, unless it is a crazy bad beat. But they almost always feel bad about taking my money.” This guilt costs many guys money, as in the long run they fail to maximize their bets when playing hands against the woman.
Tactic 3: The Party Girl
Lori T. contacted us through an online poker forum, explaining her interesting approach. “I can always get callers when I raise,” she boasts. “I set it all up earlier in the night. I get super-outgoing to get everyone laughing and talking. I encourage the cocktail waitress to come by to get all of the guys drinking. I might even propose a toast. I’ll tell crazy stories -- half of them I just make-up as I go! Anything to get the energy and excitement up.” When the timing is just right, she then takes advantage of the atmosphere by raising the pot. “When I raise with a good hand, I’ll smile at the next guy and nod my head slightly. It’s almost like I’ve giving him a cue to call. I’ll even sometimes say something like ‘C’mon’ or ‘Everybody play, it is a family pot!’ Since everyone is in such a good mood, many of them call just to be part of the fun. When I win the hand and take the money, the guys often just laugh and congratulate me.”
Tactic 4: The Intimidator
These players take the opposite route of the damsels in distress. Instead, they exude confidence and fearlessness. They are up for any challenge and battle at the poker table, but find that many male opponents choose to simply avoid that pending fight. “Many guys just don’t like losing to a woman,” quipped one tournament playing female. “When they see that I have serious skills, many of them just seem to back-off quickly. I think part of it is their ego, because they couldn’t handle being outplayed by a woman. I buy so many pots on this fact alone.”
Psychology of Poker
The psychology aspect of this amazing game is just as important than knowing the strategy of play. As male player S. Harris posted on an online poker chat forum, “I don’t trust women at the poker table.” Indeed, we probably shouldn’t. Like everyone that plays, they are looking for the psychological edge to exploit to better assure the biggest wins possible. Combat their efforts by harnessing your attention and thoughts. Remember to consciously work on identifying every opponent’s playing style and weakness.
Take the Counselor’s Quiz
How likely are you to be swayed by the tactics that some women players employ? Answer honestly to the following quiz questions to find out:
1. In the article, the woman who talked about wearing sexy clothes to her advantage…
A. was named Melissa
B. was named Tina or something
C. I have no idea about her name, but I know her shirt said “I’m All-In”
2. A gorgeous woman is flirting with you to gain an advantage at the poker table. What are your thoughts?
A. “No luck lady. Poker is war.”
B. “I can walk and chew gum at the same time. I’ll just flirt a little AND play a little.”
C. “Let’s have some fun. I don’t mind losing some money to such a lovely lady.”
3. You just lost a head’s up match to a skillful female player in your home tournament. You’re convinced that she bluffed you out of many pots. Which of these are you likely to be thinking?
A. “Give her props. She played a great game and beat me. I’ll get her next time.”
B. “Don’t let her see that she got inside my head. I’ll pretend it didn’t get to me.”
C. “I can’t believe that I couldn’t beat her. My poker buddies will never let me forget that I lost to a woman.”
4. At a $3-6 Limit game, an attractive female player is encouraging you to “loosen-up” and trade your bottled water in for some mixed drinks. You are thinking…
A. “No thanks. I never drink when I play.“
B. “Why not? One or two can’t hurt, but I need to keep my game face on.”
C. “Where’s that darn cocktail waitress? Let’s get this party started!”
5. A cute younger lady sits next to you at a low limit game. She seems to be inexperienced and is struggling to keep up with the pace of the game. You …
A. Let the dealer come to her aid, if necessary. You simply want to win her chips.
B. Give her some tips and guidance so she can keep up, but try not to allow it her affect your play against her. You’d still check-raise her.
C. Come to her rescue and play softer against her. Taking her money is hardly even a sport.
So, how do you rate? Add up your total number with the following scoring guide: Each “A” response is worth 0 points, each “B” is 1 point, and each “C” is 2.
0-1 total points: You are a serious, calculated poker player. You are never going to let a single dime slip from your bankroll due to a woman’s psychological ploys. Or, maybe you are just lying about your answers!
2-4: You aren’t likely to donate too much money due to a lady’s savvy. You also aren’t a robot, so you can have a little fun at the tables.
5-7: Be careful. You’ve been playing with fire, and you may have already been burned. Next time you sit at a table, be sure to check yourself and your focus.
8-10: OK, you think are a ladies’ man, huh? Do you remember the quote in the article where the woman said she could instantly tell who her marks where? Well, that is you. Set a budget on how much you are willing to lose each session and have fun!
In addition to being a poker columnist and lecturer, John is a National Certified Counselor (NCC). He has a Master of Arts degree in Counseling from West Virginia University, and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology with a minor in Sociology from Lock Haven University. You can ask the “poker counselor” a question about the psychology of poker at carlisle14@hotmail.com.
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